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Ozzie's Seattle
105 W Mercer St
Seattle, WA 98119
Wednesdays: 7:00 PM
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7:51 AM, March 12, 2015
Scores
Take a Good Hard Look at the Motherfuckin' Booth 75

Brain Shart 67

But Jet Fuel Can't Melt Steel Beams…Jared 62

Tower of Power 54

Jared


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Quiz Schedule
Wednesday, 7 p.m., Ozzie's
Jared ()

Not so long ago, I was on a team playing quiz and we ruled the school. My personal areas of expertise were both audio rounds, anything involving movies, and American history. One night, I was the only guy in the bar who knew the name of the current prime minister of England.

We placed first almost every week. So often that it became stale and I needed a new challenge. So instead of angering fellow geeks by besting them, I decided I would anger them by doing the asking. So I became a quizmaster and I've been pissing them off ever since.  

I am so disappointed in all of you. This date only comes around on a Wednesday maybe once in 100 years (don’t check on that, I cannot back it up) and none of you take advantage of it. “All Quizzertainers, Come Original”. “Amber is the Color of Your Urine Stream.” These are acceptable team names, because it’s 311 Day, brah!

Now, granted, they’re in the bottom three bands of all time, but I think an eighth-rate Sublime that’s only listened to by stoners, idiots, and idiot stoners deserves a little repect.

The More Weeno:

  • I think Chaz wants everyone to know that he has an incomparable knowledge of “Top Chef” judges.
  • Cool kids call it “Les Miz”. You’re welcome, nerdy kids. Enjoy the big time.
  • Eminem is a homophobic, misogynistic, immature piece of shit. We didn’t learn that tonight, but I felt like it was reinforced.  

Best Worst Answers:

  • A team that may or may not have been just one guy wrote down the answer “Tedditeranian” and then doubled down by asking if that was the right answer out loud. The nerve.
  • Another team, because they didn’t know the answer, felt that they had to write down, “I don’t fucking watch musicals.” You know, just tell me that you had surgery to remove your heart and I’ll try to respect that, you monster.
  • That same team, that same round wrote down “Rober Lewis Stevenson” as an answer. Not only is that wrong, but “Rober.” “ROBER.”

Team Name Hall O’ Fame:

  • Tower of Power – “What is Hip?” ! That was the song that Tower of Power sang! Sorry it took me so long to remember it. And no, the team that was there tonight was not the Oakland horn band. Actually, they could have been. Let me get back to you on that.
  • But Jet Fuel Can’t Melt Steel Beams…Jared – Stephanie hates this team because instead of tipping, they just leave Loose Change.
  • All Jizzertainers, Cum Original – You guys are the real winners tonight.

 

See yew and Phoenix feather next Wednesday.

Ozzie's Seattle
105 W Mercer St
Seattle, WA 98119
Wednesdays: 7:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
7:46 AM, March 05, 2015
Scores
The Llamas Are Blue & Black; No! They're White & Gold! 82

Walk The Dinosaur 80

Fluffy & Aggressive 71

Spoiler Alert: Everyone Dies 70

Nik 46

Our Couch Pulls Out, But We Don't! 45

Haha, Suckass!! 36

Jared


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Quiz Schedule
Wednesday, 7 p.m., Ozzie's
Jared ()

Not so long ago, I was on a team playing quiz and we ruled the school. My personal areas of expertise were both audio rounds, anything involving movies, and American history. One night, I was the only guy in the bar who knew the name of the current prime minister of England.

We placed first almost every week. So often that it became stale and I needed a new challenge. So instead of angering fellow geeks by besting them, I decided I would anger them by doing the asking. So I became a quizmaster and I've been pissing them off ever since.  

So, I walked into Ozzie’s tonight and everything seemed good. Little River Band’s “Lonesome Loser” was playing on the sound system, which is a favorite of my roommate and mine’s (and no, it’s not autobiographical, how dare you even think that). There’s a new stage in place and two new fancy booths. The stage was like a new pair of underwear: constrictive at first, but after awhile, it becomes a part of you (thanks, Garth).

A lot of changes, but there was one constant tonight: the teams. And I’m not speaking of the people, but the quality. Eveyone was friendly, polite, and a extremely sportswomanlike. Well, almost everyone.

The More We Know:

  • I guess most people don’t remember glaucoma tests at the optometrist office, which involves blowing air right on the eyeball and is about the worst thing in the world next to wet socks.
  • The logo of The Salvation Army actually reads “Blood and Fire.” As long as it’s not the blood and fire of homosexuals, I guess…
  • Poison Ivy once had a plan to flood Gotham City with high-powered weed, which makes her surpass Batman as a hero in my book.

Best Worst Answers:

  • We had a mock poster of “Silence of the Lambs” and not one, but two teams wrote in “The Butterfly Effect”. Not only did I forget that was a movie, but I think my third grade science project will prove that moths and butterflies are very different creatures. Let me find it here real quick...
  • Someone thought that Dr. Hook sang “Hooked on a Feeling”, which…sure, I can follow that logic.
  • And more than a few teams thought that “Twiglight: New Moon” was “Twilight: Eclipse”. Haha, God…c’mon guys! They’re completely different movies!

Team Name Hall O’ Fame:

  • Our Couch Pulls Out, But We Don’t! – If you’re interested in sleeping with a bar in your back and getting pregnant, see these guys, I guess.
  • Fluffy & Aggressive – Are they talking about the ram from question one or the quizmaster who read question one? What’s the difference, really?
  • The Llamas Are Blue & Black; No! They're White & Gold! – Guys, we were so close to escaping from the dress forever.

 

SYNW

Ozzie's Seattle
105 W Mercer St
Seattle, WA 98119
Wednesdays: 7:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
8:08 AM, February 26, 2015
Scores
Walk The Dinosaur 84

This Place Has A Terrible Bathroom To Do Coke In 82

Phenominal Quizzing Power…Itty-Bitty Quzzing Space 81

Did You See What Joan Was Wearing? 70

What's Going On In The Woods? 67

Master Trole 2012 61

Excess Of Evil 59

Gluteus Maximus 57

ATLiens 56

The Chix With Dix 54

Jared


Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
Wednesday, 7 p.m., Ozzie's
Jared ()

Not so long ago, I was on a team playing quiz and we ruled the school. My personal areas of expertise were both audio rounds, anything involving movies, and American history. One night, I was the only guy in the bar who knew the name of the current prime minister of England.

We placed first almost every week. So often that it became stale and I needed a new challenge. So instead of angering fellow geeks by besting them, I decided I would anger them by doing the asking. So I became a quizmaster and I've been pissing them off ever since.  

So, I walk into Ozzie’s tonight and the quiz area is in utter disarray. They’re rebuilding the stage as well as the closet. They tell me it’ll be ready to go in 30 minutes. But they don’t count on the resilience of quiz. I take a cruise over to the D.J. station by the billiards table and set up shop. Within 20 minutes, Geeks Who Drink pub quiz is ready to begin (thanks to the efforts of Christian and Ozzie) and I'm on an elevated stage feeling every bit like the god I truly am. Moral of the story? Don’t you dare for a second doubt the quiz. And then Marky Mark’s fake penis showed up.

The More We Know:

  • So the first question of round number eight made it sound like the five white dudes from Aerosmith won a Soul Train award all by themselves. Guess what. They didn’t win it until their song was remade by a little group called Run DMC.
  • Mitt Romney’s first name is Willard. No news on Crispin Glover’s real first name.
  • “Modern Family” is still a show…who knew?

Best Worst Answers:

  • Asked about the name if Yahoo’s Scrabble rip-off, one team put down, “Who cares about Yahoo?” which is always the right answer.
  • One person identified Spoon’s “I Turn My Camera On” as “I Take My Picture” and I cut my fingers laughing about it.
  • When asking who wrote about a boy named Fudge, menstrual cycles, and “Otherwise Known as Sheila the Great”, E.L. James is one helluva answer.

Team Name Hall O’ Fame:

  • This Place Has A Terrible Bathroom To Do Coke In – Somebody’s always trying to bite my sweetie’s stylee.
  • Excess of Evil – They’ve been waiting since 2004 to use this name.
  • The Chix with Dix – I’m almost positive Natalie Maines was on this team.

 

See you and you next Wednesday.

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