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Ozzie's Seattle
105 W Mercer St
Seattle, WA 98119
Wednesdays: 7:00 PM
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12:50 AM, September 18, 2014
Scores
???° 77

Bilbo, Bilbo Figgins 73

A River Runs Brew It 71

Completely Gratuitous 65

42 62

I Thought This Was Speed Dating 58

I Thought This Was Seinfeld Trivia 49

Jake From State Farm 46

Jared


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Quiz Schedule
Wednesday, 7 p.m., Ozzie's
Jared ()

Not so long ago, I was on a team playing quiz and we ruled the school. My personal areas of expertise were both audio rounds, anything involving movies, and American history. One night, I was the only guy in the bar who knew the name of the current prime minister of England.

We placed first almost every week. So often that it became stale and I needed a new challenge. So instead of angering fellow geeks by besting them, I decided I would anger them by doing the asking. So I became a quizmaster and I've been pissing them off ever since.  

Are there better ways to communicate concerns to my landlord? I don’t think so, so I’m using this forum to say a few things. Well, one thing really:

How comes our lobby always smells like bubble solution? Is there a bubble machine somewhere in there? If that’s the case, how comes there’s no actual bubbles? It’s like having rain but not getting the rainbow. Can I blow the bubbles? Full-time? With benefits? Would I be putting Bubs from “The Wire” out of work? I’m okay with that.

Wait, what’s this blog about? Oh yes, quiz. Eight different teams tonight. One team said they thought it was speed dating, which I’m dubious about, but I’m willing to give out every number in my phone for the right price. Another team said they thought it was Seinfeld trivia tonight, which I’m certain was for real. Here’s some Sein-trivia for ya: Why won’t Julia Louis-Dreyfus return my calls?

The More We Know:

  • “The Wachowskis” were known as “The Wachowski Brothers” at the time “The Matrix" was released, but it’s probably more respectful to refer to them as the former in all instances.
  • “The black late-night host” only brings one name to mind…that’s sad.
  • “We Didn’t Start the Fire” features people and events that happened during Billy Joel’s lifetime. Since Joel was born in 1949, the first person mentioned is…Harry S Truman. No, I didn’t forget the period.

Best Worst Answers:

  • FYI: Francis and Sophia Coppola are father and daughter, not brother and sister. Though it’s easy to confuse the two. I mean, how does he stay in such great shape?
  • I could make fun of one team for confusing “Tootsee Roll” with “Da Dip”, but I’m sure even 69 Boyz and Freak Nasty have even done it once or twice.
  • For the show “Breaking Bad”, one team just wrote down “Breaking”. I don’t if they just forgot the “Bad”, or they thought the show was actually the ‘80s breakdancing classic “Breakin’”, but I counted it wrong, because I do NOT fuck around.

Team Name Hall O’ Fame:

  • ????
  • Jake From State Farm – Everyone started reciting the commercial in full once this name was read, so maybe it’s the worst name?
  • 42 – It’s the ultimate answer to the question of life, the universe, and everything, so they should’ve gotten every answer correct, right?

 

See You Next Wednesday

Ozzie's Seattle
105 W Mercer St
Seattle, WA 98119
Wednesdays: 7:00 PM
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Comment Now
12:50 AM, September 11, 2014
Scores
Mr. & Dr. Doogie Howser 78

Meth Lab For Cutie 72

You've Hit The Fig Time Now 70

Ray Rice's Greatest Hits 69

Just The Tip 65

Christopher Walken Closet 53

Donald Trumps Bishes 53

Jared


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Web

Quiz Schedule
Wednesday, 7 p.m., Ozzie's
Jared ()

Not so long ago, I was on a team playing quiz and we ruled the school. My personal areas of expertise were both audio rounds, anything involving movies, and American history. One night, I was the only guy in the bar who knew the name of the current prime minister of England.

We placed first almost every week. So often that it became stale and I needed a new challenge. So instead of angering fellow geeks by besting them, I decided I would anger them by doing the asking. So I became a quizmaster and I've been pissing them off ever since.  

Hi, old friends. Welcome back to another winter in the Pacific Northwest. You thought you had it made with a sunny late summer, but you know that’s not going to last. You know the constant chill and overcast skies are going to drive you into the arms of your two best friends: alcohol and questions regarding useless knowledge. And that’s why I do this…for you. I love you. Kinda.

Tonight was the return of The Joke Off! The same audience that booed a Ray Rice team name applauded a 9/11 joke by Now You’ve Hit The Fig Time all the way to third place glory.

The More We Know:

  • New York doesn’t lie above the 41st parallel. Teams that thought they could get two birds with that one stone…you have done goofed.
  • Castrati, or the young boys who had their balls cut off to sing perfect soprano, is still a disturbing idea to some. Guys, it was in the name of art. I’m sure Lance Armstrong has a lovely singing voice.
  • Whoopsie Goldberg’s real name is actually Whoopi. Can’t make this stuff up…

Best Worst Answers:

  • I guess, technically, “Airrowsmith” is a correct answer, but…come on.
  • If you wrote down that the detective on “The Mentalist” was John Mentalist, you get the spirit award. Congrats.
  • The number of people that didn’t know the name of LMFAO’s hit single is staggering. I would’ve guaranteed that those guys were headed for timeless legend status.

Team Name Hall O’ Fame:

  • Donald Trumps Bishes - Is there a guy named Donald on the team? And if so, is he better than “bishes” thereby “trump”ing them? This name confused everyone in the immediate area and therefore become my number one favorite.
  • Christopher Walken Closet - Hot puns in the summertime.
  • Ray Rice’s Greatest Hits - This took equal parts courage and insensitivity. Hell, who am I kidding, it took way more insensitivity. But it got the biggest reaction of the night, so it’s settling in here.

Equality Bonus Name!

  • Mr. & Dr. Dooogie Howser – Congrats, Neil. Your love and happiness almost makes up for the last season of “How I Met Your Mother”.
Ozzie's Seattle
105 W Mercer St
Seattle, WA 98119
Wednesdays: 7:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
12:04 AM, September 04, 2014
Scores
Li'l Met'l Bot'le Tops 80

"Fuck You" is Right, CeeLo Green 79

Jared


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Quiz Schedule
Wednesday, 7 p.m., Ozzie's
Jared ()

Not so long ago, I was on a team playing quiz and we ruled the school. My personal areas of expertise were both audio rounds, anything involving movies, and American history. One night, I was the only guy in the bar who knew the name of the current prime minister of England.

We placed first almost every week. So often that it became stale and I needed a new challenge. So instead of angering fellow geeks by besting them, I decided I would anger them by doing the asking. So I became a quizmaster and I've been pissing them off ever since.  

Oh my goodness gracious…where do I begin? On my walk to quiz tonight I saw one guy that looked like a muscular, tattooed version of Vince Gilligan and another guy that looked like a chubby, bearded version of Dave Navarro. These are good signs, right? I have no idea, but they made me smile, so I took them as such.

The power of trivia was nothing compared to the draw of one of the final summer days of the year. Come on! The sun is only going away for 11 months, you wimps! You’re acting like a bunch of Kal-Els. (Is that racist? I can never tell.)

Two teams tonight and they both showed up like Kevin Costner: For the Love of the Game. “Fuck You” is Right, CeeLo Green contested their second place, but in the end, my grading skills were flawless (as they always are), and Li’l Met’l Bott’l Tops came out on top by a single point.

Also, a player was missing during the photography session, which gave me the opportunity to perfect the selfie. Eat your heart out, Ellen:

          


The More We Know:

  • The word “wiener” actually comes from Vienna. I’m sure the good people of the Austrian capitol would be proud of the “wiener tit” graffiti that adorns trash bins in my hometown. (Hi Erick.)
  • The Cub Scouts feeble little motto is “Do Your Best.” Well, I was in the Cub Scouts and I did do my best, but it just wasn’t good enough for you, was it, Dad? Was it?!
  • Is there a difference between a safety and a free safety in football? If there is, I don’t know what it is and neither do these teams. Points for everyone!

Best Worst Answers:

  • Both teams thought that the group that did “I’ve Got the Power” was Public Enemy. Yikes. It takes a nation of millions to get this wrong…amiright?
  • One team thought that “Wayne’s World 2” was “Wayne’s World”! What a bunch of dummies.

No, I’m just kidding. Both teams got perfect scores on the video round. I’m just struggling to come up with entries to this category because both teams were completely capable. Good job!

Team Name Hall of Fame:

 Once again, this category is rendered moot, so I’ll just say that yes, CeeLo is human garbage and yes, using a cockney accent will never not be fun.

 

Happy September!

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