Gather 'round children... today's Geeks Who Drink Holiday Special features guest appearances by preteens whacked out on Smarties, fingers found in various holiday sweets, what I can only describe as a very disappointed Bea Arthur, and all the vinyl albums your Euros can buy.

Eight teams gathered at Jack's Pub and Grill in Renton, WA Wednesday night for some intellectual fisticuffs. I filled in for Quizmaster Russ, who was feeling a little under the weather, although I suspect he may have just been in line for The Hobbit midnight showing. Can't blame him.

The week's top point earners included One Whole Goat (a solo player!), Renton's Finest, and Thumbleleena. Special shout-out to Free Shots, who had to leave half way through the quiz but still brought it while they could. Get 'em next week. Some highlights:

Round 1: I tried to read the Matthew McConaughey question in Matthew McConaughey's voice. No one noticed this.

Round 2: Melissa Etheridge was a very popular guess for Vonda Shepard, "Searchin' My Soul." Some teams sang along to T'Pau's "Heart & Soul," but no one could remember the group's name. The group wasn't very popular, so this was only logical.

Round 3: Teams did really well in this round, although many read too much into the round title and tried Greece. Also, I didn't catch the name of the guy that nailed the bonus question with Luxembourg, but it was pretty impressive.

Round 4: The album round was a little rough on teams tonight. I knew things were bad when we hit The Ramones (1976) and one team wondered if there'd be any older music. Still, everyone recovered in my eyes a little bit by *not* getting Lady Gaga.

Round 5: Does anyone actually have any experience concerning drinking a lot of Mt. Dew and having a low sperm count? Asking for a friend.

Round 6: This was the other brutal round tonight. Some teams missed some because they're fine, upstanding citizens that aren't really plugged into the drug culture. Some teams missed some because they were really stoned by this point. Although when I said "butt-chugging" everyone perked right up.

Round 7: Not one person in the whole bar, quizzing or not, had seen the Star Wars Holiday Special. C'mon people! A Wookiee Life Day celebration! Art Carney! Carrie Fisher looking like she'd spent way too much time in round 6! There's so much to love here. There's even a RiffTrax version of it, if for some reason you need professionals to mock it for you. Go rent it. You won't be disappointed.

Round 8: This was a strong scoring round, with three double-digit scores, two of them jokered. However, several teams weren't quite conversant with when we hold presidential elections, giving me guesses like 1910, 1942, and 1963. After the Olympics went to every two years, everything got all screwed up.

Thanks again to the teams and to Jack's for making a sub feel at home. Also, this was my first solo quiz! Woohoo!

My Quiz Apprentice Matt was rocking the microphone last night, getting ready for his Monday night debut over at the Dog and Pony.  He’s got that sexy, silky voice that makes me need to change my pants, but he was the only one exciting me last night.  You guys were on fire. I mean,  last night a full-on war.  We started with 5 teams, and all 5 were close to each other until the Vista Kids had to take off.  After they left, we had a tough 4-way battle for the top 2 spots.  We went back and forth, up and down.  In the end, it was Neh-Hah coming out on top of Plan-B by just 1 point, with Plan-B just 1 point ahead of Murder Couch, who finished in 3^rd, just 1 point ahead of 4^th place Renton’s Finest.   No shit, 1^st and 4^th separated by 3 points.  Neh-Hah showed up to the bar thinking they were going to watch basketball.  They had no idea we had a quiz going on.  I easily talked them into playing, and they proved that they aren’t as stupid as they look.  Murder Couch missed the first 2 rounds of the quiz, so the fact they finished in 3^rd, just 2 points out of first shows you what kind of night they were having.  Next time guys, show up on time.  Renton’s Finest put up a fight, and their 4^th place finish is better than it sounds.  They could’ve easily won the whole thing.  Anyone could have, it was just that kind of night.  I expect that if the youngest member of Vista Kids didn’t have to go to bed, they would have been right in the mix as well.

Dear Quizzers,

I drive 40 minutes every week to go to Jack’s Pub and Grill and then drive 40 minutes home after the quiz.  Then, the next morning I wake up before 6 AM and do “the day job”.  It’s a grueling experience every week that takes years off my life.  But I make this trip for you, my devoted quizzers.  I love you guys so very much.  Indians and Renton’s Finest, you are two of my oldest teams, and you have stood with me through rough times, coming back when no one else would.  Jocks Who Stay Sober, you bring me happiness every week.  When I’m blue, you have something funny to say to pick me.  Metallic Babies, you guys are edgy in the most adorable way.  I’m Here for the Moobs, you represent two very different aspects of my life as a Quizmaster.  Half of your team was a member of one of the first teams I ever gave quiz to.  The other half is a guy named Matt, who auditioned to be a new QM (and did splendidly, I might add).  Both halves made my heart whole.  Walker Girls, you ladies for very sweet and although I was jumping around and didn’t get to talk to you much, your presence was warm and bright.  Acme Family, you are from a bar that is a future GWD quiz, and you sharp wit and knowledge of expensive coffee certainly brought a new dimension to our quiz.  Your championship this week was well-earned, and should be cherished for many moons. 

At my darkest time, you lot are there to lift me up and carry me.  I know a lot of you were scared that Matt was auditioning for my job, but I assure you, I’m not going anywhere any time soon.

Love,

Your Quizmaster