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C.B. & Potts
555 Zang St
Broomfield, CO 80021
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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1:15 PM, July 09, 2014
Scores
We Can't Find The Erogenous Zone 80

Neymar's Back 78

Gangstabobangsta 67

Balls Deep 65

Mario Karnage 62

Thunder Gun Express 59

Wir Haben Kein Messerschmidts Im Der Kose 55

If You're Not First You're Last 53

Omar, Yo! 50

Two Gingers and a Mom 49

Fighting Thunder Chickens 36

Goober


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Tues. 8:00 CB & Potts, Broomfield Thurs. 8:00 Moe's BBQ (North), Denver
Logan (Goober)

He's everything you want, he's everything you need. He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time, and he means something to you but you don't know why.

Everyone phones it in on occasion. Even me. I mean, I'm still incredible when I'm phoning it in, but not everyone can live up to that standard. JK Rowling apparently can't. For those of you that haven't read her new Harry Potter story, I'm gonna go ahead and spoil it for you: it's bad. It's not even a story, really. It's just a setting. There's a location and there are characters, but none of them do anything! Well, Harry and Viktor Krum hug it out, but that's it. It's just a confirmation that nobody has changed at all since their time at Hogwarts, and a reminder that JK Rowling isn't dead and still hasn't come up with anything else of note.

Not that there's anything wrong with her not coming up with anything - she already came up with an incredible story that captured the hearts and minds of millions of people, and billions of their dollars. All she has to do at this point is not ruin it. That means no midichlorians to explain magic, no casting of Shia LaBeouf as Harry's surprise son with Lavender Brown, and no replacing wands with walkie talkies. Really just don't redo anything. You did it right the first time.

The unnecessary sequel is a plague on the entertainment world. We're apparently so bereft of compelling new stories that all people are capable of is "rebooting" or doing sequels to successful series. The Goonies doesn't need a sequel (and I say that having not even seen the original all the way through). Ghostbusters certainly doesn't need another sequel (though I will say that I loved Ghostbusters II). Jurassic Park already went past what sequels it could support. The Neverending Story is in talks. So is Mrs. Doubtfire. What the hell is there to do in a sequel to Mrs. Doubtfire!?!?!?

I'm part of the problem as much as anyone, though. I'm going to go see the new Star Wars movie when it comes out, and I can basically guarantee that I'll hate it. I at least resisted with the Desolation of Smaug, but I paid to see the first Hobbit film, and that's what they want.

I say enough! Join with me! Stop watching these things! Stop giving them web traffic, stop getting excited on Facebook, and most of all stop giving your money to people who know they don't have to try anymore because they already made you happy once. We can stop this together!

C.B. & Potts
555 Zang St
Broomfield, CO 80021
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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10:29 AM, July 02, 2014
Scores
Levar Burton Would Be Ashamed 78

Who has low enough standards to fuck anyone who works at hobby lobby, anyway? 64

Inconthievable 63

The Chub's 63

Zerg Rush 57

Phoenix 50

Mogadishu State University 49

Big Pyle's 40

Goober


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Tues. 8:00 CB & Potts, Broomfield Thurs. 8:00 Moe's BBQ (North), Denver
Logan (Goober)

He's everything you want, he's everything you need. He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time, and he means something to you but you don't know why.

The eyes of the world were on Brazil yesterday, as they have been every day recently, for the USA vs. Belgium match. Spoiler alert: The USA lost. Tim Howard, however, captured the world's hearts and minds with 16 goddamn saves. Those of you who watch soccer know that's a lot - a record for a single World Cup match, actually. Even those of you who don't watch soccer know that, because the reason you don't watch soccer is the total lack of shots and (therefore) saves or scores.

The man was like a mobile, bearded wall. Everyone's going to remember his name for WEEKS. Then forget about him, just like we did Abby Wombach. Remember back in 2011 when people cared about women's soccer for a few weeks? It was gonna be huge! It was going to revitalize America's interest in the game! And then the same thing happened as happens every World Cup (men's and women's). The tournament ended, and we quit watching.

That's the American Way, really. Not to be confused with the United Way, which is a wholly different thing. We get super excited over something until we get bored or start losing. Or both, which is basically how Iraq went. It's time for us as a nation to sit down on the couch and say "Soccer is boring. I think there's a Toddlers and Tiaras marathon on - let's watch that and eat some pudding." Who doesn't love pudding? Nobody doesn't love pudding.

Eat some pudding. Watch some shitty reality tv. And most of all, don't get fooled when soccer comes back around next time. It's not going to be any more interesting.

C.B. & Potts
555 Zang St
Broomfield, CO 80021
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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Comment Now
11:46 AM, June 25, 2014
Scores
There's No Biting In Soccer! 81

BAMF 78

Thunder Gun Express 77

Menace II Sobriety 76

My Dixie Wrecked 76

Pigs In The Sea 66

The Awesomes 59

Chaney 55

Mogadishu State University haha lol 53

We graduated? Now What? 52

Blueberry 51

The Gingers 49

Mint Chocolate 46

The Bend and Snaps 45

The Purple Cobras 39

Goober


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Quiz Schedule
Tues. 8:00 CB & Potts, Broomfield Thurs. 8:00 Moe's BBQ (North), Denver
Logan (Goober)

He's everything you want, he's everything you need. He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time, and he means something to you but you don't know why.

Don't get me wrong - I love the ocean. I grew up in a suburb of Charleston, SC, about 5 minutes from the beach. My grandmother lived on the Isle of Palms, so a looot of time in the summer was spent heading over to Granny's house and spending the day at the beach. I went to the beach the same day I saw Jaws for the first time.

But seriously, though, the ocean is an entirely fucked up and terrifying place. Once you get away from the immediate shoreline, it's just full of things that want to kill you. Please note that this does not apply if you happen to live in Australia, where the things that want to kill you are more than happy to hang out right by the shore. The Stonefish was featured on the visual round. There's also Box Jellyfish, Blue Ringed Octopi, Portuguese Man of Wars, and Cone Shells. 

Yeah, you heard me. Cone shells. You don't even have to go in the water. Walking along the beach and picking up shells is still a hazard to your health in Australia. I still really want to go to Australia, though. It looks incredible.

My one disappointment in the visual round was the lack of Zombie Worms. They live at the bottom of the ocean and feed on sunken whale carcasses (after they've been killed by any of the remarkably large number of sea creatures dangerous enough to attack whales). They don't even have a mouth. They just burrow and bacteria on their skin breaks down the whale into nutrients which they absorb. How messed up is that?

So yeah, while you're worrying about sharks, remember that sharks are pretty easy to spot, what with being large and obvious. You can get away from those. But the little guys? Yeah. that's what's going to do you in. I'm not saying "stay out of the water," but you might want to consider staying out of the water.

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