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C.B. & Potts
555 Zang St
Broomfield, CO 80021
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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10:35 AM, March 19, 2014
Scores
A Tie Between Penises on Television and Five-Gallon Pickle Buckets 72

That Man Is Playing Galaga 62

Society Against Guest Quizmasters 61

Bad News Beers 58

Jacked Lats 57

Thunder Gun Express 56

Kiss Me Cuz I'm Sexy? and Irish, too, but mostly sexy 54

Long Rod Von Hugen Dong 53

Computer Cell 50

Too Hungover For This Quiz 50

Classy Sideboob 45

I Collect Spores, Molds, and Fungus 42

It's Not Personal, It's Quizness 34

S-Clan 22

Cooks 16

Hodor! HODOR! 16

Goober


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Quiz Schedule
Tues. 8:00 CB & Potts, Broomfield Thurs. 8:00 Moe's BBQ (North), Denver
Logan (Goober)

He's everything you want, he's everything you need. He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time, and he means something to you but you don't know why.

With tonight's video round, and the upcoming Avengers quiz, I feel like the villains of the comic book world are being ignored just a bit. Surely there are those out there who care about the bad guys? And not just the good bad guys like Dr. Doom, Loki, Magneto, and The Red Skull. I mean the crappy villains. The ones that you forgot existed, and Stan Lee won't admit he created.

I'm talking about the Masters of Evil. Admittedly, I'm not nearly as strong in the comic realm as some of my friends and fellow quizmasters are. I have to look these things up. But upon looking them up, holy crap. These are some awful villains. AWFUL. There's a dude called Paste Pot Pete. That's the name you give the slow kid in kindergarden that you don't trust with your fresh new bottle of Elmer's.

Then we've got Klaw. What's his superpower? Does he have super-strong claws that can grab and/or cut through anything? No. That's Wolverine, and it's not even his primary power. No, Klaw is a physicist who was transformed by an experiment into SOLID SOUND! He's got a sonic emitter and fights people with sound. You don't need a superhero to beat this guy. You just need a deaf person. He could totally screw with Daredevil, though (as can anybody who makes the effort - Daredevil sucks).

Flying Tiger's name is a little more accurate, but his powers still suck. He's just a former NFL player who got a suit that lets him fly. That's it. Basically Rae Carruth with wings. I wish I could say he were the Hawkeye of the group, but sadly he's not even the worst. Nope, the award for that goes to Tiger Shark.

Tiger Shark was an Olympic swimmer. I'm detecting a theme here. I dunno if the comic creators got beat up by jocks a lot as kids, but... oh, wait, I do know they got beat up by jocks a lot. In this case, the origin story is that Michael Phelps gets paralyzed and tries to get back in shape by altering his DNA with some from Namor: The Submariner and an actual tiger shark. What you wind up with is basically Chevy Chase in a puffy grey suit. His most useful attack is tricking people into opening their doors by pretending to be a dolphin.

The Avengers are the greatest heroes in the universe, and we need them to go after this list of d-list morons? Yeah. No. Try again. But don't worry, there won't be any questions about any of these idiots at the Avengers quiz, Thursday, April 3rd, at the Irish Snug in Denver!

C.B. & Potts
555 Zang St
Broomfield, CO 80021
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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11:40 AM, March 12, 2014
Scores
We Got The Clap To Save Tinkerbell 73

Logan Is Awesome 56

Tommy Wiseau Acting Academy 54

I Hope Your Couch Pulls Out And Quizzes On Your Pants 51

I Collect Spores, Mold, & Fungus 47

Thunder Gun Express 47

Monkey 44

Cock Punch 40

Ukraine In The Membrane 39

Canadian Toques 34

GB 31

Roxy 30

Weather Report: Today It Snowed Sideways 28

Tony B 24

Bill 19

Joel/Robert 17

Logan Is Amazing 14

Me Team 8

Goober


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Quiz Schedule
Tues. 8:00 CB & Potts, Broomfield Thurs. 8:00 Moe's BBQ (North), Denver
Logan (Goober)

He's everything you want, he's everything you need. He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time, and he means something to you but you don't know why.

First off, I want to apologize to team I Hope Your Couch Pulls Out And Quizzes On Your Pants. I screwed up your score and you would have been in 4th place. So everyone who was in 4th or below, know that there was actually one guy who beat you.

Second, I want to thank Kat from team We Got The Clap To Save Tinkerbell for pointing out that I was using my cane wrong. I've been hobbling around with a sprained ankle for two days, and apparently been totally misusing it. It's easier to walk now.

But now on to TALES OF INTEREST!

Some of you may be aware that a plane left Malaysia the other day carrying 239 people, then promptly Amelia Earharted. An oil slick was spotted, but no plane was found. The search continues over southeast Asia, but I have a few theories myself on what might have happened to the plane.

First theory? Wormhole. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, read a book. Watch a movie. Get out there and learn some shit or you're never going to be a successful quizzer. The idea of a wormhole is that two black holes are connected, and that entering one will allow instantaneous (or near-instantaneous) travel from one part of the universe to another, since you're not actually going through space, you're going in a direction that space isn't. Try to wrap your head around that. I'll wait. ...Okay, so now that plane has gone through the universe into somewhere else. Unfortunately, it's statistically very unlikely that they survived the journey. Wherever they wound up, it probably wasn't habitable by humans. Space, another star, or the gullet of a giant space worm. It's tragic.

The second theory is that the plane's disappearance is part of David Copperfield's attempt to bring magic back to the forefront of the world consciousness. A plane disappears from the air over Vietnam, then suddenly reappears a week later at the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas! How cool would that be?!?!?!? Super cool. I mean, a little dickish since he scared the crap out of those people's families for a week, but he's the most profitable solo entertainer in history - he's sold over $4 billion in tickets. He can afford to buy the families some tickets to Vegas and a week's worth of all-inclusive fun prettymuch anywhere. So wait a bit and we'll see if theory #2 pans out.
The last and most controversial theory is that the plane isn't missing at all. It actually landed successfully, the passengers all made it home, and this is all a hoax perpetrated by the world media. It's a real life Wag the Dog situation, requiring collusion from nearly every media outlet in the world. The purpose of the charade is clearly to distract us from something, but what? What is so important that it's worth faking something on this magnitude? It would be far easier to just shoot the plane down and distract everyone with that, but it had to literally disappear. Who was on that plane? Is the plot of Mission: Impossible II being made real? It very well could be. I fear for our future in this world where Tom Cruise movies determine the outcome of the universe. Mostly because I don't want to see Anthony Edwards die again....

Anyway, thanks for coming out! Have a great week, and I'll see you all right back here next Tuesday!

C.B. & Potts
555 Zang St
Broomfield, CO 80021
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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10:37 AM, March 05, 2014
Scores
Yes! Yes! Don't Stop! I'm Going To Quiz! 76

Scrappy-Doo Is The Devil 71

$5 Punch Tonight, 40 Days Of Penance Tomorrow 69

A Victory for Upfish 67

Ukraine In Like A Wrecking Ball 67

Papa's Delicate Condition 66

It's Not Fat Tuesday, It's Big Boned 61

The Couch Pulls Out But I Don't 57

John Travolta's Hairpiece 55

Last Place 53

Thunder Gun Express 53

Adele Dazeem 45

My Boyfriend Looks Like Jared Leto 42

We Will Be Home "Doing It" By Round 6 41

Dark Horse 32

Anonymous 22

Where The Fox Hat 20

Dingleberry Delight 16

Goober


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Quiz Schedule
Tues. 8:00 CB & Potts, Broomfield Thurs. 8:00 Moe's BBQ (North), Denver
Logan (Goober)

He's everything you want, he's everything you need. He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time, and he means something to you but you don't know why.

When snow is dumping down like it was last night, driving feels like a hyperspace trip in Star Wars. All the white flecks rushing in at you out of the blackness can, to a nerd, look a lot like the light speed graphic. It loses a little bit of the fun when you're only doing like 35 (because I drive like an old women, especially when I can't see shit in front of me), but you can also treat the other cars on the road like Imperial cruisers that you're trying to outrun. There were even two cars out there with cloaking devices! And by "cloaking devices" I mean "those idiots were driving through a shit ton of snow without their headlights on and are probably dead even as I write this."

It was great to see everyone last night. Some new faces, some old faces, and some nameless horrors from the depths. I want to give a special shout out to team "We will be home 'doing it' by round 6," who stayed through r6 but turned in rounds 7 and 8 at the same time with nothing but dicks drawn on them. I hope it was as good for you as quiz was for me.

Other things that happened include an excellent auditioner. Michael took a pretty challenging round and totally owned it, once we got him to hold the microphone properly (y'know, like he was just about to go down on it). I have no say in the actual hiring process, but if I did I'd totally consider maybe letting that dude work for me. He's good people. Good people with a sexy microphone voice.

I'm going to leave you with my parting thought for the day: if I ever have children, I will never give their age in months. They will either be "still sticky," "fresh," "getting stale," "starting to turn," or measured in the number of times they have pooped.

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