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McCabe's Tavern
520 S Tejon St
Colorado Springs, CO 80903
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
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10:31 AM, September 25, 2014
Scores
Unitarian Jihad 82

My iPhone 6 is Bent Like Retka's Mom 81

The Band's Back Together 67

Breasts, Beer and Beards 66

Halal! Is It Meat You're Looking For? 62

Too Sober Girls 58

The Flying Walinskis 57

Brilli Jenilli 43

K&D Ranch 42

Fuckmaster Emeritus


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Quiz Schedule
Wednesdays at McCabe's Tavern.
Aaron (Fuckmaster Emeritus)

Aaron's been quizmastering since before you were born. He's occasionally hilarious when he's not being sort of a dick. Things that make him giggle include: Li'l Jon; gamboling puppies; the word "oatmeal." No idea why. He's doing preeeeeetty well for himself, thank you.

You guuuuuys, it's fall now. Aaaaand, we had kind of a quiet night at McCabe's yesterday, perhaps due to the equinox and perhaps due to the teevees being back on with new episodes of that show where the guy is all "baboonga!" or whatever and it's pretty funny, you should check it out, I don't do a really good job of explaining it, and not all all due to the fact that the previous week I played a Billy Joel song 40 times in a row, because that would be redonkulous.

Aaaaand, uh, fall? The news is that Brian, who smells like a fart that just ate a dirty diaper, is moving to Denver. He was on a team called the Betas who used to be good at pub quiz. But now they're not so he has to move away to drink glasses of diarrhea for breakfast. Also, Ha(i)l(i)e(y), our longtime cocktail waitress on Wednesday nights, is moving on to find greener pastures and follow Phish full-time, or something. We'll miss them both, until in like three weeks one of their names comes up in a conversation and we'll be all, "Who?" and they'll be totally forgotten. The point is, never leave me.

So, the quiz. I found that sucker last night to be easy as pie, and most of all y'all did, too. Especially stupid Unitarian Jihad, who won again because they're stupid. Also especially My iPhone 6 is Bent Like Retka's Mom. The joke's on you guys, though, because my mom is only bent because of the tumors on her scoliosis, and when she gets her settlement from that company that makes the medicated back braces that gave her spinal cancer, we're totally going to Dollywood, and you're not invited. Also, The Band's Back Together came in third.

McCabe's Tavern
520 S Tejon St
Colorado Springs, CO 80903
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
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11:51 AM, September 18, 2014
Scores
Unitarian Jihad 78

Brainiac X 77

True Love Waits â?¦ For Disappointment 76

Fuckmaster Emeritus


Web

Quiz Schedule
Wednesdays at McCabe's Tavern.
Aaron (Fuckmaster Emeritus)

Aaron's been quizmastering since before you were born. He's occasionally hilarious when he's not being sort of a dick. Things that make him giggle include: Li'l Jon; gamboling puppies; the word "oatmeal." No idea why. He's doing preeeeeetty well for himself, thank you.

Last night at McCabe's we all learned the value of putting up with my existing playlist. A week earlier, stupid Unitarian Jihad took issue with my Steely Dan and Aerosmith and, occasionally, Lightning Bolt, so they got their just desserts, in the form of me putting "We Didn't Start The Fire" on repeat all night. This devious, devilish and admittedly totally stupid plan took form earlier in the day and I giggled about it for hours. Like, literally giggled. Like an effete cartoon villain who probably has a go-cart that turns into a helicopter so I can make good my escape while tittering: "Hee! Pasternak! Prokoviev! Heeeeeee!"

So an eleventh-hour 'splosion means that there's not a full scoreboard, only the top three that I actually remember. Sorry about that. I can tell you that Breasts, Beer and Beards were probably in 4th place. And Blood Sweat and Beers made their best showing ever and were somewhere in there too. And Pat Sajak's Vowel Movement straight-up suuuuucked. No cry, Sajak. Tomorrow is another day. But our top three: Unitarian Blah Blah Whatever, Brainiac X—who last night bifurcated into two teams, the Y-titled one of which didn't do so hot—and True Love Waits ... For Disappointment, whose name is the saddest line of all from "Princess Bride," or the BDSM porn version of "The Princess Bride," called "The Princess Tied," they all did okay.

Another thing that happened is that I asked some questions and people answered them, sometimes correctly and sometimes not. It's this thing we do every week. L8ers!

McCabe's Tavern
520 S Tejon St
Colorado Springs, CO 80903
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
10:53 AM, September 11, 2014
Scores
Pat Sajak's Vowel Movements 76

Common Trollops 71

Bingo the Wonder Pony 70

Change Your Fucking Playlist 68

The Von Tramp Family Swingers 60

Blood, Sweat & Beers 57

Halal! Is It Meat You're Looking For? 53

Extra Medium 52

Wet Dreamcatchers 50

Beats By Ray 46

Queef Latina 39

Jesus People USA 27

Quiz On Your Face 20

RAD 11

Richard Cranium 8

Fuckmaster Emeritus


Web

Quiz Schedule
Wednesdays at McCabe's Tavern.
Aaron (Fuckmaster Emeritus)

Aaron's been quizmastering since before you were born. He's occasionally hilarious when he's not being sort of a dick. Things that make him giggle include: Li'l Jon; gamboling puppies; the word "oatmeal." No idea why. He's doing preeeeeetty well for himself, thank you.

Fall has done whatever of the opposite of "spring" is. (Landed? Sploshed? Fallen?) I can tell because it's now almost dark when I start quiz and everyone is subsequently so much more attractive, including me and my ugly, ugly hands that in the soft overhead glow now look almost human, almost as if I'm one of you. And I take solace in the thought, swallow back my tears and go on. For what else can a monster like me do?

Hey! I trained another QM last night. His name was Nick and I like him. You should like him, too. If you don't I will so fight you.

I think it's terrific that McCabe's manager Matt now comes to quiz every week on his day off with his wife, whose real name I don't remember but whose rap name is totally Queef Latina. Together, they will rule the world. (But not the quiz. They're not all that good at that.)

We had something like 15 teams last night, which isn't blockbuster-y or anything, especially during the beginning of September when everyone's all, "Waaaaah, my kids are back in school, waaah, I can't go out because they just put all of 'Felicity' on Netflix, waaaaah, I'm in the hospital because I got hit by a Schwann's truck, waaaaah." So 15 teams was pretty good is my point.

Score jibber-jabber: Pat Sajak's Vowel Movements won, which is a testament to what you can accomplish when your parents come into town and play on your team. Then there was Common Trollops, blew my friggin' mind by being in first place all night even though they're a bunch of knuckleheads. And then! Then there was Bingo the Wonder Pony, who used to come all the time and now can't because one of them got elected to City Council so they're like sooooo much better than me. Whatever, Bingo. You used to be cool.

And shut up, Unitarian Jihad. Fine. I'll change my playlist for next week. Hope you like the Spice Girls.

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