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McCabe's Tavern
520 S Tejon St
Colorado Springs, CO 80903
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
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10:20 AM, October 09, 2014
Scores
Quarantine Texas. What, No, I Haven't Heard of the Ebola Outbreak 73

Lady & the Tramp Stamp 72

Pat Sajak's Vowel Movement 65

Trucker Candy 54

1,768-Dollar Burger 50

Nice to Meat You 41

Harvard Class of '57 34

Intimidated & Confused 30

Excalibur the Dog 27

Lord LeBron 2

Fuckmaster Emeritus


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Quiz Schedule
Wednesdays at McCabe's Tavern.
Aaron (Fuckmaster Emeritus)

Aaron's been quizmastering since before you were born. He's occasionally hilarious when he's not being sort of a dick. Things that make him giggle include: Li'l Jon; gamboling puppies; the word "oatmeal." No idea why. He's doing preeeeeetty well for himself, thank you.

You guuuuuuys! Quiz last night was pretty fun. How fun, you ask? I JUST TOLD YOU, IDIOT: PRETTY. PAY ATTENTION.

I will now list all of the noteworthy things that took place at McCabe's last night:

1. There was a new cocktail waitress. Her name was Fhrljdsl (sp?).

2. Their soup special was lentil something-or-other.

3. Lady and the Tramp Stamp was like soooo close to winning. Because they coyly change their name each week, you might not know this, but they do really well sometimes. Last night was one of those sometimes. But lo, stupid Quarantine Texas, Because We're Really Unitarian Jihad in Disguise And Maybe If We Change Our Name to Something Current-Events-Ish Aaron Won't Hate Us So Much won. By a point. Curses!

4. I had my all-time low-score record with a team who got just one question correctly and then jokered. Their answer sheets were mainly drawings of penises, which I'm sure their therapist recommended.

5. Ben from Pat Sajak's Vowel Movement told me a really fucked-up story about soccer. It didn't help them to get any higher than third place.

6. A guy told me my voice was soothing.

7. A bunch of lobsters escaped from the McCabe's lobster tank and ran amok, pinching everybody and the staff was like, "The only way to kill them is with fire!" so then everybody was like flamethrowering these pinchy lobsters and that only made them madder and it turned out they were fire-resistant so then they were also like red-hot and pinching people and it was just crazy, you guys.

8. I made one of those up.

McCabe's Tavern
520 S Tejon St
Colorado Springs, CO 80903
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
9:01 AM, October 02, 2014
Scores
Brainiac X 74

Unitarian Jihad Approves This Message 73

Los Pollos Hermanos 66

Hot Rod Bironas 63

Where the Fuck is Todd? 60

Duck Knuckles 59

Mensa Mafia 59

I'm All Outta Holes 57

Blood, Sweat & Beers 55

Larry's Home Sick 46

Pub Quiz? What Pub Quiz? 43

Whaletails 38

Team Polyps 31

Skyrim Job 29

Fuckmaster Emeritus


Web

Quiz Schedule
Wednesdays at McCabe's Tavern.
Aaron (Fuckmaster Emeritus)

Aaron's been quizmastering since before you were born. He's occasionally hilarious when he's not being sort of a dick. Things that make him giggle include: Li'l Jon; gamboling puppies; the word "oatmeal." No idea why. He's doing preeeeeetty well for himself, thank you.

A lot of times when reading answers, especially when it's short, I'll give the answer and then repeat it a few times for emphasis. It's a trick I learned at the Letterman School of Being Mildly Entertaining, and often takes place when there's less than a wow factor to the answer. So, for example, I'll go, "Milk," and then a few seconds later, "Milk, milk, milk." (And then, if I like the way it feels to say the word, like a toddler discovering "helicopter" for the first time, I'll just repeat the shit out of it: "Milkmilkmilkmilkmilkmilk." This makes me borderline autistic, probably.) My point is that this doesn't play at all when the answer is the letter K, because the crowd can't hear my mental commas: "K,K,K." Sigh.

Fall is here, you guys! It's all crisp and shit out! Leaves! Punkins! Elections! It's the best! And to illustrate that, we had a nice, full house last night at McCabe's, where people apparently got over their week-before doldrums and crammed in. Spirits were high. I can tell because I was asked, "Do you want tit?" when taking pictures. You might think this is something I am asked quite often, pub quiz being the Astroglide-filled hot tub of hedonist wonders it is, but no, not so much. So I blushed and said, "No, thank you, ma'am" like a Webelo from the '60s and went on my way. But did I? Did I want tit? This is a question for the ages, and one you and I cannot hope to answer here today. So let's move on:

Bwahaha, Unitarian Jihad didn't even win. They lost, in fact, if you consider missing out on first place by one point to be a loss, which I do. Nailing them up was Brainiac X, my heroes. And in third: Los Pollos Hermanos, who play all the damn time and never win, so good on them.

Like I said, we had a pretty full house, but everybody scampered off quick, many too quickly for me to get a picture, which is sad because everyone was so happy and attractive and I wanted to use those pictures for this collage I'm making THAT YOU SHOULD STOP ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT ALREADY, IT'S FOR MY PRIVATE USE. Ahem. Good day.

McCabe's Tavern
520 S Tejon St
Colorado Springs, CO 80903
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
10:31 AM, September 25, 2014
Scores
Unitarian Jihad 82

My iPhone 6 is Bent Like Retka's Mom 81

The Band's Back Together 67

Breasts, Beer and Beards 66

Halal! Is It Meat You're Looking For? 62

Too Sober Girls 58

The Flying Walinskis 57

Brilli Jenilli 43

K&D Ranch 42

Fuckmaster Emeritus


Web

Quiz Schedule
Wednesdays at McCabe's Tavern.
Aaron (Fuckmaster Emeritus)

Aaron's been quizmastering since before you were born. He's occasionally hilarious when he's not being sort of a dick. Things that make him giggle include: Li'l Jon; gamboling puppies; the word "oatmeal." No idea why. He's doing preeeeeetty well for himself, thank you.

You guuuuuys, it's fall now. Aaaaand, we had kind of a quiet night at McCabe's yesterday, perhaps due to the equinox and perhaps due to the teevees being back on with new episodes of that show where the guy is all "baboonga!" or whatever and it's pretty funny, you should check it out, I don't do a really good job of explaining it, and not all all due to the fact that the previous week I played a Billy Joel song 40 times in a row, because that would be redonkulous.

Aaaaand, uh, fall? The news is that Brian, who smells like a fart that just ate a dirty diaper, is moving to Denver. He was on a team called the Betas who used to be good at pub quiz. But now they're not so he has to move away to drink glasses of diarrhea for breakfast. Also, Ha(i)l(i)e(y), our longtime cocktail waitress on Wednesday nights, is moving on to find greener pastures and follow Phish full-time, or something. We'll miss them both, until in like three weeks one of their names comes up in a conversation and we'll be all, "Who?" and they'll be totally forgotten. The point is, never leave me.

So, the quiz. I found that sucker last night to be easy as pie, and most of all y'all did, too. Especially stupid Unitarian Jihad, who won again because they're stupid. Also especially My iPhone 6 is Bent Like Retka's Mom. The joke's on you guys, though, because my mom is only bent because of the tumors on her scoliosis, and when she gets her settlement from that company that makes the medicated back braces that gave her spinal cancer, we're totally going to Dollywood, and you're not invited. Also, The Band's Back Together came in third.

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