I didn't get the blog up until way past deadline and I don't have much time to blog because I have to be in Rastle Cock in about 45 minutes for my Fantasy Football draft. Chrystal has already promised to spank me later tonight so you don't have to worry about disciplining me.

So I'm just going to throw the pictures up and let you all relive the fun and excitement that was had last night at Illegal Pete's - DTC.

A fun progression....

MMMMMM BOOBIES!

Go in for a closer inspection Rob







Our lovely slinger of cocktails, Whitney


Yours truly

SCORE REPORT

Curly Merkins             83
Warm Thrill of Confusion  72
What Would Jesus Joker?   70+1
Huge Geeks                70
Los Chingones             69
Mr. Popularity            67
The Innocent Culprits     40
MDR                       30
Bill & Barb               27

Catch you all next week.

-P

Illegal Pete's last night was a roller coaster of an evening. At the onset of our Geeky journey (aka 6:00 PM), we were a quiet, more subdued group. By the end, there were some heated arguments and shots aplenty. The moral of the story is that everyone got good and liquored up and had a good time sharing in the warmth and good friends that our beloved quiz brings together.

With a well played joker in Round 8, Curley Merkins went home with the big money.


In only their 2nd week with GWD, these two pulled out a 2nd place finish. Great Job and we're glad to have you along for the ride! Also, next time you pick a team name, select another swimmer that is easier to pronounce after I have had 2 Illegal Peaches
Peter van den Hoogenband


In their 2nd Peter hosted quiz in as many nights... What Would Jesus Joker? again held the lead only to give up the top spot in the final round. Your train is coming in soon, I promise. Just don't piss on the 3rd rail while waiting.


While just missing out on the $$$, these 4 had what looked to be the most fun in the joint last night. It helps when Whitney is sitting just across from your pouring liquor down your gullets.
Private Molesters, Esq.

SCORE REPORT

Curly Merkins             66
Peter van den Hoogenband  62
What Would Jesus Joker?   61
Private Molesters         56
The Bitter End            53
Do It Live                50
Mr. Popularity            48

Again, a 2nd week of GWD phenomenon, all the scores were within 18 points from top to bottom. I guess I should take that as a compliment, either your all gluttons for punishment or I'm engaging enough to keep your undivided attention for 2 hours. I'll chalk it up to gluttons but if you have other ideas, leave a comment.

See y'all next week. Thursday at 6:00

Cheers,
PT

Last week I was slightly concerned, we had good turn out but I will admit that I had my reservations. Would the crowds continue to come without their beloved JZA?

Turns out... they do come back and they'll come back in force. There were only a couple open tables this evening and it seems like everyone was having a grand time, myself included. The drinks were flowing and people were getting well tuned for their Thursday evening.

So tonight I experienced an interesting phenomenon took place. First off, it is unusual when every team that starts the quiz, is still with us by the end of round 8. This took place, everyone started, everyone finished! Great job. The next coincidence is most unusual though... we had 12 teams total and the spread between 1st and 12th = 19 Points!!! No single team just dominated the quiz and while Meet The Evil's held the lead most of the night, just about everyone else held a place in the top 5 at one point or another. SWEETNESS!

The soon-to-be most evil duo in quiz history...
Meet The Evils


Andee's Minions


I went ahead and let this team use their joker, turns out that 1/2 way through round 6, their 7th team mate shit himself.






Suck It Trebek!


What Would Jesus Joker?

SCORE REPORT

Meet The Evils           68
What Would Jesus Joker?  66
Riot Into                65
Andee's Minions          64
Suck It Trebek           63
Bigger than Jesus
    Better than Ezra     61
(Cat)astrophe            61
Team Kuch                57
Calvin                   55
Zippy Snatch             53
Something Clever
    (we're in trouble)   51
Gashy Anush              49

See you bitches next week!
-P

This evening was my first night with my permanent assignment at Illegal Pete's in the Tech Center. Being that this has been my quiz away from quiz for the last few months, it helped to ease the transition from player to Quiz Master. As always the bartenders were welcoming as ever, the Illegal Peaches were DELICIOUS, and my potato burrito was damn near ambrosia.

So last night at McCabe's was a little thin, it turns out that Love Fist and Curly Merkins had conspired to attend at Pete's for their weekly fix. I'll go ahead and waive your requirement for the doctors notes, but just this once!

Everything went smoothly this evening and I would like to extend a big thanks to everyone for coming out for my inaugural quiz. JZA, you'll be missed. Come out and join us sometime soon. We'd love to have your smiling mug in our great bar.

Proving that the day in the life of a NFL back-up QB is not so bad...
"I'll Quit for $20,000,000" -Aaron Rogers


The wining team with a PERFECT round 2 and an impressive 12 point round 8. I'm surprised they missed the ever elusive 80 point threshold.
Curly Merkins


2nd place winners and Pete's darlings...
Something Clever


GWD royalty, welcome to the your newest quiz. My guess is that these two have only missed out on attending at quiz at Burt's Tiki Lounge.
Love Fist


Another McCabe's transplant team, Suck It Trebek!

SCORE REPORT

Curly Merkins               75
Something Clever            69
"I'll Quit for $20M"        68
Suck It Trebek!             65
Love Fist                   65
The Family That Drinks
     Together               53
20-Something & Fabulous     37

See Y'all next week! Thanks again for the warm welcome.

Cheers!
-PT

I woke up this morning and was entirely unsure of how I made it through till the final round last night. I also wondered why I waited this long to do an all-cock quiz. Cocks are sort of great quiz fodder not only because even as we grow older we still giggle when we hear about then, but because you can dish out so many double entendres and make countless innuendos without any real effort. And with as much as I drank last night (oh the cocktail that would make a summer break pro weep) effort was not going to be a strong suit.

You have seen your share of famous cocks on films and even heard a ditty or two about the meat sword, but when it came to scientific questions about the penis...well it sort of came as a slap in the face.

So who turned up the "Kings of Cock?" Well that very appropriately would be Kings Without an Idiot who beat the competition with two inches to spare. Thanks for the nummy cupcakes. I have to admit I remember going home with a cupcake last night and as of 10am have not been able to find where I put it.

Two teams met each other dick for dick and had to rely on a figurative sword fight to decide who won what. Something Clever, who have quickly become the expansion team powerhouse at Pete's beat out the Merkins by a pound.

I need to thank the third place Curly Merkins for my ego-boosting inflatable cock. I had some serious separation anxiety when it came time to go home. Renee was concerned that with my departure there would be no one to pick on her anymore. Just call it a hunch, but I'm sure someone will step up.

I think I managed to get pictures of just about every team last night. I know a lot of people had taken pictures all night long and I provided my email below for anyone who wants to contribute. I'll just go with this slideshow to wrap up the night so I can go find the off button for this virtual merry-go-round that's making my morning-after oh so brutal.

A Dick in the Box is Worth Three in the Hand and they didn't bring any boxes, so...

Los Chingones included a handful of quizmasters who have seen their share of team cocks...the drawn ones mind you.

Ned Flanders and the Cock-A-Diddly-Doodily-Doos feel like wearing nothing at all...nothing at all

I'm not entirely sure where the glow bracelets I woke up with came from, but OMG Onion Son had the best accessorizing of these doo dads going on.

Sarah was mildly disappointed that she came out for the Cock Quiz only for me to not expose myself. Maybe I was so drunk I just forgot.

So it was my last night as the regular quizmaster at Illegal Pete's in the DTC. Get your dicks out of your hearts already because there's still going to be a great Geeks Who Drink quiz every week. Peter's going to need your help in holding down our reputation as one of the more unruly venues for GWD debauchery.

And finally a huge thanks to the quizmaster wranglers provided by Illegal Pete's

the COUNTDOWN

Kings Without an Idiot              65
Something Clever                    63+
Curly Merkins                       63
A Dick in the Box is Worth 
   Three in the Hand                62
Los Chingones                       58
Ned Flanders and the 
   Cock-A-Diddly-Doodily-Doos       54
We're Bigger than Breast Implants   48
OMG Farewell Jason-son              37

Have any clever cock pics (from last night)? Send them to dramamind@yahoo.com

I wish I knew more about hair metal. I wish I knew more about football players. I wish I knew more about Massachusetts (well not really). Thank god for South Park. Ah the tried and true of Geeks Who Drink topics. So sums up the questions in hand.

With the pieces put back together after last week's short-handed version of the opposite of victory, Curly Merkins took it from start to finish despite challenges throughout. I told you not to bet against this team when Nudity in America came into play.

One point behind is the team that secretly has my favorite team at Pete's. It's not because I readily recognize So You Think You Can Squirt as one of the top selling adult DVDs from January of 2007, but because they are so brazen. Yes, this is a team so unafraid that they still love Andrew McCarthy.

Just how great is the quiz? Well, when you sell your kid on the black market just so you and your spouse can finally play at the same time, it's pretty telling. Of course these are difficult economic times and young children do supercede the American dollar. But it was because of the awesome quiz, right Bigger Than Jesus, Better Than Ezra?

And we offer a fond farewell to Amy of Amy's Farewell who is moving to to a state where they treasure adding an "er" to any word they can. Every time I listened in on their party, someone was making a smart observation, so I'm not entirely sure how they wound up with just 51 points. The good thing about parties is that you can blame it on the booze.

Well if I survive being suspended from ropes for the sake of team building today, I will be back next week to bring you the greatest quiz of all time...Everyone Loves the Cock. You have a whole week to work on team names.

Let There Be SCORES

Curly Merkins                       66
So You Think You Can Squirt         65
Bigger Than Jesus, Better Than Ezra 62
What Would Jesus Joker              57
Something Clever                    56
Amy's Farewell                      51
Special Agent Johnny Utah           43
Johan Martinez                      19

Something Clever went all Gremlins. They didn't die, they multiplied. They kicked off the night with a perfect score on "you're the only Tennessee" and didn't look back despite Whiny Cranky Jazz Hands being no less than three points behind throughout. It seemed fitting with so many rounds with questions attempting to be clever. Their saving grace was that the Germans lost WWII or more specifically, a round on Disney-fied Germany. With everyone cleaning up on an approachable eight round, ze Germans set the winners board more than anything else.

If only Shannon had sent her little one to a German boarding school, then perhaps this would have finally been the week of happy, smiley Jazz Hands. There were a few things stacked against the second place team, for instance had Rob come from an area of Florida that embraced white rap rather heavy metal, hair metal, nu-metal, etc there would have been the familiar comfort zone of the second round.

From last place into the money...it is possible, though it took a little help from a passing through accomplice who pulled Joel's Mom from the drudges of the standings and then left before a prize was announced. Not I had alluded that the team name was an inside joke for those who pee standing up. For the story behind the story, we take you into the mens room of Illegal Petes. Make sure you're wearing shoes...

First of all...it is possible to squeeze an entire team into one urinal

...And aha, there is the inspiring piece of graffiti

And because I was in a camera-happy mood last night...more pictures:

A shorthanded Curly Merkins team brings up the rear and plays the role of a disgraced celebrity.

You'd think a team playing longer than most in the room would know enough to not joker on an 8-pt round. It's cuz they're Team Awesome!

Here is the pimp to end all pimps. Dude is all smiles because he rolled in and had a team that consisted of him and four women. But then his friend shows up and half the women leave. This is why we all must choose our friends wisely.

And now for the over the top pop culture follow-up: Remember, the secret to trivia lies in the mind and heart. Not in the hands.

If anyone doubts the effects of the fairy swatter, here's proof that 60% of the time it works 100% of the time:

Ronnie receives the fairy swatter while munching on some imaginary cock

Moments later Ronnie has transformed from a cock gobbler to a Japanese anime character with bulging eyes and an exaggerated smile.

If you didn't win this week, save up your energy and study below the waist in the weeks to come. Come July 24th, only one team will get to proudly say they won the cock quiz to end all cock quizzes and the rest of you will just be cock teases.

the SCORE

Something Clever         73
Whiny Cranky Jazz Hands  70
Joel's Mom               61
OMG Onion Son            60
Whiners or Winners       60
Team Awesome!            57
Kobra Kai                57
Curly Merkins            55

A lively evening with victories both big and small. First we had parking nazis protecting our lot from the folks at a certain establishment and then you had another birthday-fueled victory. No Jazz Hands, No Ring! rightfully noted losing to birthday parties in back to back weeks. This one was in fact a tie that lead to sudden death and was affected by my personal affection of the video game world.

For their victory pose, OMG Birthday Onion Son decided to go with the always fun jumping pose, which had sadly fallen out of vogue since teen-oriented shows in the eighties. Can't you just sense the energy, excitement and inhibition those shows stood for...

Now if you having an upcoming birthday, I'd steer clear of DTC next week as I'm fairly certain Rob and Shannon have no intention of settling for second another week. Last week they were all jazz hands and after this week those hands will be raised in a fist as they declare that such and such won't stand.

And very quietly sneaking into third place was What Would Jesus Joker who are curiously knitting sweaters in the summer. Perhaps they also watched lots of eighties children shows and have adopted the oft-used cartoon plot of villainy in aiming to freeze the world with some bizarre device.

Alright folks, it's Fourth of July and I already have a hangover from last night's karaoke excursion and so while I often joke that pictures are filler for the blog so I can write less, this week I'm going to follow through on that. Here are more teams that "were also not in last place."

Touche on the team name btw

the SCORE

OMG Birthday Onion Son        61 +4
No Jazz Hands, No Ring!       61
What Would Jesus Joker        56
Shit Kickers                  55
Going Dutch                   54
The Warm Thrill of Confusion  52
Toast                         51
Your Uncle Molests Collies    48
Whatever                      24

Alright. Take two. I fell asleep writing the blog last night. I'm beginning to wonder if someone slipped something into one of last nights cocktails because I was nodding off at the bar before I even got home. Then again, what kind of person slips you a mickey and then doesn't even pay the courtesy of sexually assaulting you.

Our birthday girl was a little more fortunate. In addition to her team, Los Chingones coming out atop and getting to walk the quizmaster out of the dark and murky path of sobriety with birthday shots, there was this progression...

Good Birthday

Great Birthday

Awesome Birthday

You know I went to the quiz on my thirtieth birthday and all I did was throw-up and blackout.

Moving on to the other predominant theme of last night's quiz. We were seriously hating on a certain place when teams found themselves circling a parking while old people accosted the parking nazis. The end result, we started a little late and subsequently made fun of a certain establishment a lot. No such blow was better than the team name of I Got Salmonella (and Chlamydia) at the Tavern. So close to becoming the top team, but the always to blame ill-placed joker made its mark.

You have three months to learn how to do jazz hands properly or the wedding's off

So with a team of people with noses upturned at the mention of the contact lens industry, 16 Eyed Monster brought out my true colors when their team name sounded more like a reference a record-breaking circle jerk. Third place was what said monster could muster.

Their eyesight actually deteriorated after a year of winning and staring into my flash

And now some quick shots so I can get back to my less interesting job...

The Curly Merkins aren't hiding because the didn't place...

...but are rather masking the guilt of any team member that may be responsible for this whoopsies.

And while I thought I'd be uncharacteristic and not point this out during the quiz, Brought to You By the Letter F and U may have been at the bottom of the standings, they were celebrating during each break by making out on the patio. Now that's team spirit!

And least I forgot to have some fun at the expense of Shit Happens When You Party Naked (who closed out the bar with me before heading into enemy territory)...

Red rocket! Red rocket! Oh and look there's a dog too.

Alrighty then. I'll see you all next week unless San Antonio is so fun I don't want to leave (don't worry, their quiz doesn't start to August so it's rather unlikely).

the SCORE

Los Chingones                                   70
I Got Salmonella (and Chlamydia) at the Tavern  68
16 Eyed Monster                                 66
Curly Merkins                                   65
Something Clever                                61
Family that Drinks Together                     59
The Tavern Sucks (aka SmS)                      56
Shit Happens When You Party Naked               54
Brought to You By the Letter F and U            44
M.N.R.                                          17