LOTS. OF. PEOPLE. AT. CATACOMBS. At one point last night we had 16 teams, almost all of them filled to capacity with 6 per team. And we had TWO birthday girls: one who turned 21 for the first time (obviously), and another who's age I didn't catch. I'm going to assume somewhere in the early twenties, I think I'm really in the ballpark here.

Our first birthday girl, Megan, left as the night progressed, because, hey, you can only celebrate your 21st birthday once, right? Wrong. You can celebrate it as many goddamn times as you want, jackass! It just won't really be accurate as much as once. Who cares, though? This is the land of imagination! It's your birthday, shut your trap.

All I have to say, is that Megan missed, a really fantastic display, that Wendy was a part of. Cupcakes with candles were brought out, lights were dimmed, and the entire room sang "Happy Birthday". It was quite sweet.

Matt is shocked at the birthday surprise.


And here's the girl herself. Happy B-Day!

And here are THE SCORES!

Llamas of Doom                              78
Transcendental Calamari High School         68
13 In One Hand, Baker's Dozen In The Other  66
Personal Jesuses Capacitor                  62
Trifecta, Bitches!                          62
Hong Kong Danger Duo                        59
Lafayette Super Pimps                       54
Team Tardy Diesel                           53
A Little Taller Than Midgets                50
Michelle's Ladies                           48
Crotch Rocket                               35
Mom & Son                                   28
Lando Calrissian                            26
Bust-A-Nut                                  21
Sorry I Missed Round 1                      10
Cool Arrows                                  9

Lot of teams last night as I said, and here was the amazing thing. We had the top two teams joker in round 2, and then hold the lead for the entire game. It's really rare. A lot of the time, round 2 can be a little tricky on people, and the past few months, I've, virtually every time, seen another top team lose because of a last round jokering. But not this time. Bonus fact: our top winning team Llamas of Doom was also the birthday team... I mean, at least the 2nd birthday team... I mean, the one that got the cupcakes... yeah.

Winners of the game and cupcakes.

Now some people during the night were a little perturbed at Llamas, not necessarily because they were doing so well and got cupcakes, but because they thought there might be some shennanigans going on - because the llamas had an iPhone. Now let me make something completely clear here: they didn't win because of the iPhone. iPhones can do a lot of incredible goddamn shit, but I know for a fact that they won the game, not because of the iPhone, but because of magic. And to prove that I know what I'm talking about, here's a picture of Luna Lovegood from the recent "Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix" movie.

See?

We had a few teams down there near last place, many of them being last minute entries, however, the true last place booze ticket slot goes to Sorry I Missed Round 1, which, technically was also a late entry (hence the name), but they rocked their last place shitbox game right to the bottom there, folks. So be proud. You took down (or up, I guess) Trifecta, Bitches! whose name proves to be obsolete in the light of their mid-range game score. I have a picture of the guys that I think might be our last place team.

I think maybe?....

But since I can't be sure, I'm providing this additional picture of Luna Lovegood from the recent movie "Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix" as their stand in.

Way to go, guys!

That's it for the blog today, rockers. Except make sure to pick up your copy of "Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows" tonight. It comes out worldwide at 12:01 a.m. tomorrow morning/tonight. I know I'm going to be at Boulder Bookstore at 8 for their release party, watching children play odd games with funny names with "warts" and "hogs" in the name, and trying to quelch my unfathomable anticipation of this book. I will most likely be dressed as a muggle.

GET SOME!

Cheers,
Ballard

Does this blog title have anything to do with the event last night? Kind of... Anything to do with Christopher Lloyd in the awesome 1994 movie of the same name? Well...no not really, but I'll explain as I go. Let's roll.

Last night at Catacombs we saw a damn good crowd of people, and one team, with one special person on it, who blew my mind a couple of times. The blog is named for that team. Now, they didn't win, but let's get the facts over with, real short:

Only one person knew all four Hulk Hogan "demandments.
Only team had two perfect rounds.
And only one person knew the answer to John Wayne as Genghis Khan.

That team was Chontel's Angels.

The Angels


The man himself: King of St. Louis

And with the first bonus question (answer of "The Conquerors"), which I thought was very hard, I suggested if anyone got it, that they should do a victory lap around the room with high-fives since they've earned it by being penultimately awesome. Chontel - yeah, he took the victory lap.

Look at him go!

On to the rest of the game. AND SCORES!

Douchebags For Liberty!            63
Chontel's Angels                   59
Closet Blondes                     59
Purple                             58
Naughty Whispers                   50
Menopause Mavens                   45
Sally & The Well-Tempered Players  43
Mick, Nick, & Nikki                28

Our last place team was a later-come team, and friends of mine, visiting from Lawrence, KS. While Mick, Nick, & Nikki came in late and slid a bit toward the bottom of the game, they did hold their own for a newbie team...but only enough to not completely disgrace themselves with like 4 points or something...

The Love Without End Tour 2007

Top team, slid to the top to surpass several of our early jokering newbie teams, in the last round. Check it out for Douchebags For Liberty! (or Douchebags Por Liberstad!, as they earlier chose their name to be in Spanish). They are favorites here at Catacombs, the thoroughbred team of the quiz and while some people would look down at them, I applaud them...and their motto:

"GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME CLEAN!"

In conclusion let me also say that there were two other golden moments from the night:

1.) "Chontel's Angels' answers for Colorado Mountain Passes." I won't write them all down because that would take too long, and I've got shit to do like wash my cat, but they did include the favorites:

- "Cards Win 2008 World Series/Rockies Suck Pass"
- "Nobody Goes Down Like A St. Louis Girl Pass"

Yeah, you can tell they're from St. Louis.

2.) "Menopause Mavens win funniest answer of the night award", with their answer that the original formula for making American cheese included mixing colby cheese with freedom. The Hulkster would be proud.

I know I'm proud. And I live by Hulk Hogan's "demandments" myself. And to prove it, here's a picture of me in a Hulkster t-shirt playing the ukulele.

Ballard Out.

Yes. Lil' Jon reference. To start. That's how I roll. C-R-U-N-K - CRUUUNNNKKK!!! And I can write this shit in full confidence, because "crunk" just got added to the dictionary this week. Along with "ginormous" and "DVR" (which really isn't a word, just an acronym, but who's counting, Webster Fucks!). But here's the real deal, folks.

The blog is late. Sorry. Why? Because I've had all this shit to do, like...wash my hair. OK, no really, I was so goddamn exhausted after how awesome the quiz was, that I had to sleep 18 goddamn hours, in order to recover. And that's so long, I'm not even really up yet. I'm writing from dreamland. Can you believe it? No. Well, shove it. I've got flying gumdrop unicorns and get to hang out with Shaquille O'Neil. Do you have that? No. Just your pride and, like, probably a girlfriend or something...

ON TO THE SCORES!

Thanks For Taking Our Names, Assholes!     69
Fargin Iceholes                            67
Stinky Raisin                              67
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers            66
Dirty Rotten Squirrels                     59
Johnny Cochran's Fruitless Search For The
Cure for Soul Cancer                       58
Out Of Our Asses                           53
Bork Pies                                  53
Stank Torso                                48
The Excitement                             19
My Thoughts On Soup                        14
We Won The Last Two Weeks, Bitches!        11

Lot of teams for Thursday, huge fucking turn out. Matt finally got a "Geeks Who Drink" t-shirt as a prize for a past bonus internet question. And the minute he put it on - a guy at an adjacent table exclaimed, "I wanna fuck him right now." THAT'S RIGHT. GWD t-shirts make you fuckable. You heard it from me. You can't quote me on that shit. All I need now is a t-shirt...

Our top winners and their name really deserves some explanation. Well - there were two teams both named "Little Lebowski Urban Achievers", when the game started. (Yeah, really original, stoner. "Get a job, sir!") One with good handwriting, one without. So a little later, "Lebowski Team 1" as I liked to call them, changed their name to the more aptly named, and winning team name of Thanks For Taking Our Names, Assholes!". And ever did an admonishment of "jerk" sing such lofty praises. What a great team. Check them out, friends.

She looks kind of sad. And fuzzy.

Our last placers played their game right. They didn't want to steal the top crown so easily this week, so chose to use their name We Won The Last Two Weeks, Bitches! and then tank the shit out of the game. A 58 point spread is a pretty big spread in a game with a perfect score of 80 points. I mean, seriously. But they took their last place prize (booze) and had a good time. Check it:

What the hell's happening to Erin's face?

And in something that we have never seen before here at Catacombs, in the spirit of some damn good sportsmanship, both the Top and Last Place teams toasted their bonus rounds together. Can you feel the goddamn love, you affection-starved, cold-hearted, ice-queen that never called me back and still won't give me that t-shirt back? Huh, can you, you BITCH! Yeah. I didn't think so.

Pride and comradery swells within the heart of the American quizzer.

In conclusions, here are some of highlights of the events. Sure there were more, but here is ones that I also documented with my camera.

1.) Beth Shoe still keeps getting close to the correct internet bonus question...but just keeps screwing it up. Hers was the actually first one I picked last night for the correct answer of "Ulysses S. Grant". Her guess: President "George Michael" Grant. Close. Close but wrong. And I will not use a Wham! reference for that. You've used them all up, Beth.

And 2.) I every now and then receive some strange messages on people's quiz sheets. Or people will just slip we weird things like phone numbers or insults or roofies. You know, basics. But here's one of my favorites now of all time. Possibly the best:

Awesome plan. Now all I gotta do is get that t-shirt...

Ballard

There weren't a lot of people at the quiz last night. Why? The fucking freak hailstorm that dropped right before the quiz, is my guess, but I can't really confirm. Don't have all of the numbers at my disposal. But the 20 of us there had a damn good time, and we flew thru the quiz, because we cut out the fat of those deadweight slow quizzers. Oh, yeah. We were flying last night. And here's a little something about it:

Penises and Boners.

Yep. We had two, two teams, who had nothing else on their mind than penises and boners. And mostly dudes, too. Coincidence?!? I don't know. But I do know the theme was a little more conspicuous...there being only four teams at first. Hmm.

SCORES, BITCHES!

I'm Sorry, Your Shatner Is Inoperable!  63
Closet Blondes                          62
Penises Penises (Pink)                  55
Buh-Buh-Boner Petit                     53
Testicular Manslaughter                 30

TOP PRIZE last night goes to I'm Sorry, Your Shatner Is Inoperable, taking the lead in the last two rounds and holding it with a single point lead. I know those close calls make you hot around the collar (in that mean it sexually turns you on), but that it's also stressful, so way to go team. TEAM! Yes. I've said it. "I'm a supporter." You can quote me on that. Shatner would be proud.

LOOK OUT, HE'S GOT A CHAIR!

Now I can't really think of much about William Shatner that hasn't been rehashed time and time again for comedy...or the fact that my friend comedian Dave Burdick won a Journalism award in the State of Colorado for an article called "Stalking Shatner", in which Dave was not able to get within 50 feet of Shatner at the Denver Sci-Fi Convention, because of security...

But I do know that most of you don't remember this:

TEKWAR, BITCHES!

On to our loser team. Testicular Manslaughter (which sounds completely gross) came in late to the game, but really held their own...however, they still came in deadlast. Why? Late. Late. I already told you, dumbass. You just can't score that many points when you come in in round 6! But they did really kick some ass for a newbie duo team and they did accept their last place booze ticket award with this incredibly accurate quote:

"We couldn't have done it without all of you...winning."


No. No, you couldn't have.

Lastly, thank you all for coming and braving the storm, but before I go allow me to visually show you, the worst bonus internet answer I have received to date. I made sure to also include the area with her name on here. To the question: "What is Evil Knievel's real first name", I received -

WRONG! It's Robert Craig. And even with your answer here, "Beth", wouldn't it be "Georgios-Kyriacos Panayiotou Knievel"? Hmm? Sure, you're probably making an Arrested Development reference. Well, I'm taking the Wham! reference, baby. Take that! WHAM!

Also let's ponder the combination of:

&

Awesome. SO AWESOME.

Just sayin'.

Ballard

Martial Arts and Metal Rock. Two awesome rounds last night at Catacombs...which you probably already know because you probably were there. But anyway, hey! Recap! Who fucking cares? Wanna fight about it? I thought not.

We had initially not that large of a crowd in the room, but it felt like it continued to pick up thru out the night and we had a hootenanny of a time. Or should I just say we were in cahoots for a good time. Yeah. I like the sound of that. Canoodling...

Here are the scores, ROCKSTARS!

Eep Op Ork Ah Ah                           69
Undocumented Immigrants                    66
Rule 4. - Don't Spill Beer On The Laptop   59
Dirty Rotten Squirrels                     57
Team Walker Texas Jetpack Rangers
and The Roundhousers                       55
A Space Potato or A Pete Holm?             24
The June Knickers                          16

Top prize goes to Eep Op Ork Ah Ah who took the lead from Undocumented Immigrants in the last round, despite a fine, fine lead. Way to stick! Way to move! Yep, them Eep Op Ork Ah Ah team players knew how to answer more right questions than the other teams. Oh, YEAH! (Also, their team name means "I love you". Adorable.)

Erin looks nice in the front, sporting her new GWD t-shirt.
Product plug!

Our last place team The June Knickers (try saying it really fast, while slurring) was really working for their last place round of booze, having to tank up a storm to out tank our earlier last place team A Space Potato or A Pete Holm? (who was really just only my friend Abby, playing by herself). And how did they take the last place out from under her? Why, because Abby made the fatal mistake of actually competing in the last round. TRUMP! That'll teach her to try and be smart. But anyways, congratumolations to The June Knickers, uncomfortable name, be damned!

Look out! He's got a chair!

I had to include our second place team Undocumented Immigrants here, because it was their first time playing and they really rocked the shit out of the game, being a newbie team and being awesome. If it weren't for a slightly less strategic joker, they very well may have taken it to the top, and, while I love Steve and his team that almost always wins, it was super good to see a newbie team show up are really give them a run for their money there. And Immigrants have promised to come back and really give them a solid go, now that they've got a grasp on how the game goes here. Rock and roll, and here is a picture of them, to prove that they were not just a team I made up this week. Like most weeks...

Kings & Queens of The Quizmosphere (albeit not in points).

I need to bring up a few of my favorite moments in the night. One was during the 2nd Audio Round - Theme "Nu Metal". Yeah, well, we had some really mixed reactions in there, including both, one guy who said "this round sucks", followed by a guy next to me apologizing for him sucking, since he knew pretty much all of the answers. Awesome. Also there was the guy who waited in the hall during the repeats, since it was so viscerally painful to listen to that much Godsmack. I speculate he's a closet Godsmack fanatic, just doesn't want that lady to know. Just sayin'...

Props to Team Walker Texas Jetpack Rangers and The Roundhousers for the longest name of the night that didn't fit in my Excel spreadsheet. Way to rock...and have that Nu Metal fan who knew everything.

I also liked the speculation in the Martial Arts round that there was one movie featuring a mortal battle between Bruce Lee and The Muppets. I WISH! That would be SO AWESOME. As I said last night, I would have paid $80 from my four-year-old self to see that movie. So since I can't provide that movie, I can speculate that it might look something like the below:

VS.

BATTLE OF THE GODDAMN CENTURY

Also funniest line went to a linking of the true secret identity of:

TO


AWESOME

Ballard Out.

Well, it's America's Birthday now. Sure it wasn't, when the quiz was on, but are you going to contest to me that America ain't great?!? What?! Now!?! Surely not. Not unless you're a goddamn communist...(because they don't really like America. At least that's what Rocky IV taught me..) Anyways, we had a pretty packed night at Catacombs last evening, with, not only a ton of half newbie teams playing, but two, count 'em two teams which were bacon themed in name. Why is this a big deal to me? Because I FUCKING LOVE BACON. You can quote me on that. And I love America too. AMERICA AND BACON. What's more goddamn American than that? Apple pie? I don't think so, Communist. Get me some pig on that pie and we'll talk, I guess. Let's celebrate some America now. Bacon Style...

THE SCORES!

The Arabian Eyegoggles                  62
Scottie Doesn't Know                    57
Amazing Larry                           54
"Dirty" Turtles                         52
Shut The Fuck Up, Donnie                47
Shaking Bacon Slathered In Love Gravy   45
Team Anus Bacon                         45
Bush Wackers                            44
Lovesac                                 43
Riding Solo                             41
Deva & His Divas                    30
Turns Out I'm Not Gay                   14

Our #1 team The Arabian Eyegoggles (which I have yet to find out what it means) took the first place "trophy" in the last round, as is so often the case. Way to move. Way to stick it. They were hang out in the middle until they really got rocking last night. They did take quite a large surge of free booze tickets. Go figure. Maybe it was the placement of their seating. Or maybe it was their pure unbridled awesome that took them to the top. We may never know...

Crammed together in solitude and booze.

Last placers was take by Deva & His Divas. As was the case last week, sure we had a team with lower scores, but they didn't make the round 6 cutoff point to be elligible for the last round of booze prize. Sure, it's my own thing, but I still love you. Hug? Yeah, let's not do that, I'm with you... Here's a picture on of the losers took of the others while I was eating a salad.

I'm the one with the salad.


Those boobs are real. All four of them.

And speaking of boobs, here's a picture the fellow Viddyudeva drew of his girlfriend Brandy who has big boobs. I can testify to this. Vid is also a Buddhist priest. Neat, huh?

Note how she's clearly using a Mac.

Lastly, let me point out two of my favorite moments in the night:

1.) I told the entire room not to spill my beer or cocktail on my computer during the bonus round, since this had happened before, and to be safe I put my drinks on the floor. Moments later I kicked them both over spilling booze everywhere and partially over Bush WackersTeam Anus Bacon had renamed themselves into the cumbersome Shaking Bacon Slathered In Love Gravy, but no. They were a completely different team. Amazing. And I love bacon. LOVE IT. FUCKING LOVE BACON.

It's the 4th of July right now, and I bought a pound of bacon this morning and cooked all of it and ate it myself - THAT's how much I like bacon, bastards. Deal with it. You guys rock. Especially the bacon teams. And team Amazing Larry, because of their "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" reference in there. Awesome.

I kind of wish there was a showdown that we could hold between Team Anus Bacon and Shaking Bacon Slathered In Love Gravy, but unfortunately everyone is gone now. I don't know what it would have looked like, but I imagine something like this...

+

VS.


?

Lastly, may I also suggest the Top 2 Ballard-C-Boyd-Approved Holiday Websites of the Day:
1.) www.iheartbacon.com/
2.) 30 Days Of Pork
Please check out that Iheartbacon.com has been developing a Bacon Rating System or B.R.S. Awesome.

You heard it from me. They're bacon-eriffic. Or bacon-tastic. Or just fucking great, because bacon's AWESOME and so are you. High-fives!

Happy America's Birthday. Don't forget to celebrate in style. Rock out, and godbless this country of ours.

Ballard

P.S. Here's a picture of America's favorite bartender Jonathan Byrnside, ready to celebrate the birth of our nation after a hard night serving drinks. ELVIS STYLES. God Bless You Sir.

Well, newbies (who may be viewing this for the first time), thank you for coming to the Geeks Who Drink quiz last night. Hope you enjoyed yourself. And, for the rest of you awesome returners (including our winners), I love you to. Remember those hugs I said I would give out? Well, I gave out three or four last night, sure, but I got hugs to spare and they're all for you. Seriously, take me up on it. Bastard.

Big ASS night at Catacombs last night with a shitload of newcomers, playing us up to 12 full teams. It was a great time - but I learned something strange: 1.) the quiz teams fucking love The Rock's tattoos, and 2.) "We Are The World" has a much broader kitsch value appeal than originally anticipated. Yes! I've never seen so many The Rock fans in one room before, outside of the bastions of Nascar or any local gathering my hometown of Franklin, Tennessee. They love that guy, at the grocery store...wherever. I didn't think it'd be really possible to love him so much in Boulder, maybe it was the crowd. But I have this new idea I'm wondering about:

What would happen if you combined the awesome power of...


with...

I'm not really sure, but I'll weigh in my best guess at the bottom of the page.

ON TO THE SCORES, ROCK FANS!!

Mark Summer's Physical Challenge             66
Dirty Rotten Squirrels                       59
Team Former President Howard Taft Struggling
To Get Out Of The Bathtub                    59
The Capulet Kittens + Dave + Some Other Guy  57
Uneducated Guess                             52
Love Pump                                    51
Dead Last Call                               50
Shingles Suck                                47
Testicular Sound Express                     42
Erin Go Back                                 38
Get Out Of My Life & Shut Up                 28
Root                                         12

Congratulation to top team Mark Summer's Physical Challenge for their staggering slide up to the top slot in the last few moments of the game. Here's why it's also super exciting for these fellows - they have now been coming for weeks but have never been able to win the game...until now. Also bonus high five to the Mark Summers for also including the team member who won the internet bonus question. I think his name was Scooter...or something...

CHUG!


That's team spirit! Via Shirt!

While we had two cumulative losers for last place, Get Out Of My Life & Shut Up and Root, because of the "quizmaster cutoff" for last place booze at round six, our "official" last place prize goes to newbie team Get Out Of My Life. Not to say that I'm not superfriends with Root...because I'm not, just met both teams...but Root earns my respect for jumping into the game in round 7 and holding their own for those twelve points. And they get hugs ALL AROUND next time I see them. Isn't that better?

Most Awkward Beautiful Team EVER.


Yeah, that's a little better, except for that girl.

In conclusion, let me point out three things:

1.) I witnessed a mindblurring massive series of ties, the likes I have never seen before in round 3 last night. Three-way tie for First with 19 points, and then a SIX-WAY-TIE for Second with 17 points. I've never seen this before, and I may never see it again, but it look marvelous. Startling, on my excel spreadsheet... Way to move. There were only two other scores - a lone 14 and a 10. Whatcha gonna do?

2.) Bonus award to Former President Howard Taft Struggling To Get Out Of The Bathtub for "Longest Goddamn Team Name that won't fit into my Excel Spreadsheet, or really the scores report the next day without a line break". What an award to win. I hear next week they're going to be "The Team Formerly Known As Former...", and so on.

3.) And three, as promised - here's my projected result of a "The Rock/We Are the World" nuclear assimilation process:

AWESOME. 7-7-07, Bitches.

OUT!
Ballard

Folks, it was a fantastic night to be back at Catacombs with the quizmofriends, as I like to call them, after being away for two weeks. What a warm reception. In fact, it was really the temperature of urine...like that kind of warm. Homey, one could even say. I had a great trip around the United States hanging out with musicians and directors. I met John Paul Jones, the bass player for Led Zeppelin. I saw "The Police" when I was really drunk. I lived in a van for about four days. But it's nothing like being home. Home in the quizmosphere. With a giant fiberglass cow behind me. That's love. But let's get down to brass tacks: Jews.

The place was crawling with Jews. Not really literally, really. Unless one counts my friend Yotam who dropped by at the beginning of the game. He's really Jewish, but he wasn't crawling. So really it's a metaphor. A metaphor about the game. Jews. All over the goddamn quiz. This was a theme for the night. It was great. I love the Jewish "persuasion", as they call it. Good cooking. Good comedy. What a legacy.

But let's find out who won some shit, off of this roundabout topic.

SCORES, BASTARDS!

Well, Sabrina, I Think Our Party's A Flop      70
Rusty Trombones                                68
Desperately Seeking Susan                      67
You Can't Just Say "Fisting" Anymore           66
Michael Look At Banner                         66
Preachy, Lying, Untouchable Ravers (P.L.U.R.)  61
A Penis Wrinkle In Time                        26

Our losers really knew how to tank. That's all I can say. 35 goddamn points, not to the top of the rankings as the spread, but to the next highest score. Yep, there really wasn't any competition there with A Penis Wrinkle In Time. They earned the last place round. Earned it LIKE A FOX. You can't compete in tanking like that, unless you're serious and really planning. So way to go folks.

That's a class act, right there. Holding the blue balls.

Our top winners Well, Sabrina, I Think Our Party's A Flop took the top slot by only two points, in a marvelous switch-up with the Round 8 Joker. They really were behind, with "Fisting" holding the top for almost all of the game. Like Barbaro, the late Kentucky Derby Winner, they slid past the top runners to take the Run For The Roses at the last minute. And then they got injured and had to be put to sleep months later... Wait. No, that was just the horse.

"To The Quizmobile!!!"


Pete analyzing his pencil.


Considering taking a swing at me.


"I think I shit my pants."

You may wonder where the winning team got their name Well, Sabrina, I Think Our Party's A Flop. Well, it comes from a comedy sketch starring myself and former quizmaster Dave Burdick that's now on YouTube, called "I'm From The Future". You like "the future", right? Sure you do. And I'm in a dress. Also here's something else you can check out.

Dave Burdick, me, and comedian Elisha Yaffe (collectively as the troupe "Secret Circus") are in competition in the YouTube Sketchies, a search for funniest comedy sketch. And you can help us out and VOTE! We're in the 2nd Round of 3, and there are 8 more hours of voting for us to make it into the Top 5 and move on to the final round. Just click here, and rank "Groundhog Day" up to #1, and keep clicking every hour until midnight. You can vote EVERY HOUR, so help us out. And if we make thru, there will be one more Battle Royale for the top seat. It'll be awesome. Thanks for your help, rockers.

I'll see you bastards on Thursday. I can't wait. Who wants hugs?! Because I'm in a huggin' mood. Test me out. Hugs for everyone. See y'all then.

I think this is a funny thing to hear at pub quizes, especially considering it always comes from the mouth of someone who has a brain filled with the most useless knowledge possible. That's what pub quiz is all about, amigos. WE ARE ALL LOSERS! There's joy in this, so accept it. Pub Quiz is for...Geeks...Who...Drink. We're in it together. The boat is loaded up with nerds, and you're on it. Get used to it.

Last night was a fun evening at Ye Olde Underground Boulder Hole, Catacombs. The hot bartender was pouring even hotter drinks, delicious tasting water, and blocking hugs from strangers. I hope you tipped him, by the way. He sure is nice.

Many of you showed up, after ditching out on Tuesday's quiz. We had some stragglers who entered the contest during the last couple rounds, including And His Name Is....ME!, Tony Little's Ponytail, as well as, get this, Would You Rather Have Your Penis Sound Like a Rain Stick? Boulder, that's beautiful! I picture a 19 year old guy hanging out on the Pearl Street mall begging for change because his parents' mansion in Vermont is a long bus ride away, playing his didgeridoo, calling everybody brother/sister, and shaking his penis rainstick! Yes, I am that asshole. But it's a great image.

Trying real real hard to beat the winners, The Vinyl Face from Within (god or glo-worm?) saved their joker to the end, and only lost by two points. These are cold hard times, Vinyl Face. Cold hard times.

A team to my right picked another name related to the first round Jordan Knows/Loves Girl Toys. That girl toys round was pretty easy. Not like the obscure boy toys questions we get. It was nice to have a My Buddy sing along. And yeah, why did Kid Sister get the same shitty theme song? We got fucked again, ladies. Ever since the beginning.

The winners were very smart, and used their joker in round two, where they scored 13 points. They also had a name that is relevant to most of our relationships with our bikes these hot summer days Your Bike Would Like You to Clean Your Genitals.

SCORES

Your bike would like you to clean your genitals 74
The Vinyl Face From Within                      72
Team Top Secret                                 66
jordan knows girl toys                          60
Test tube martian posse                         59
cracked pots                                    55
TBD                                             53
great balls of fire                             50
who needs another round                         44
Tony Little's Ponytail                          39
toy boat,                                       36
donkey trouble                                  18
and his name is                                  9
wyrhypslars                                      6

Next week Ballard returns to ease your aching hearts, but I will send my love via a wireless signal generated inside my soul and delivered to you via satellite. Via via via.

Much love to you, Catacombs.