Before the evening began I spoke to a gentleman who sometimes plays other quizzes (HMPH) by himself and has managed to win. The best I had seen, up until then, was a couple a few months back who placed but did not win. Until tonight. Somehow, in some way, a gentleman and a lady-- two people -- defeated twenty one other teams to win $50 in Highball money.

Who in the fuck are these people? I feel like Johnny Cash asking his older brother "Why are you so good?" Your first place winners tonight, Haywood Jublome.

Then we had an UNPRECEDENTED three way tie that threw me for a loop. James didn't have the equipment needed for our preplanned tiebreaker (but that will be very, very, very fun when it happens) so I improvised and forced the teams to do Michael Jackson's "Bad" karaoke style.

That resulted in this crew, Cervix-a-lot, placing first in our karaoke contest and thus second place where it counts. Well done!

Second place in karaoke and third overall went to... well, shit, I don't actually know whether this was team Shut Up, Frank! No One Likes You! or Helen Keller's Blind Spot, but regardless-- I gave a $15 gift certificate to these people. That's all I know. UPDATE: I'VE BEEN TOLD THAT THE THIRD PLACE FINISHERS LAST NIGHT WERE "SHUT UP, FRANK!" NOW WE RETURN YOU TO THE BLOG POST ALREADY IN PROGRESS.

We did other fun stuff tonight-- I didn't have the usual tickets to an Alamo show like I normally do (but surely will next week), but I did have an hour of bowling, an Avatar t-shirt that'd been in my car for six months, and a mounted poster of Barack Obama (missing half his head). We decided to do IMPRESS ME: THE GAME, where we brought people on stage to perform either some sort of magic trick or a stupid human trick. It quickly turned into a freakshow. Observe...

Thanks as always to the inimitable Heather Leigh Kennedy for recording that video for me. Our winner was Stacia, whose flexible arms delighted and horrified the crowd. Here's her with her winnings:

Here's your scores!

Haywood Jublome	                        71
Shut Up, Frank!  No One Likes You!	69
Cervix-a-lot	                        69
Helen Keller's Blind Spot	        69
Tell us where the bodies
are, Jan Brewer	                        68
Sally Draper's Masturbatory Tendencies	67
We Dropped Out of Hogwarts
to Attend West Beverly	                65
Robot Unicorn Attack II	                62
Cinnabon Lovers	                        61
And In Second Place…	                61
Ayatollah of RockNRollah	        59
My grandmother can't wrestle but
you should really see her box	        59
Big Bong Theory	59
Pulling Out of Iraq and Your Mom	53
Happy Birthday, Libby!	                52
Terrible Twosome	                52
Rectum?  Nearly Killed Em!	        52
We Do Private Parties	                51
Nugatory	                        50
Klingon Toilet Paper	                46
2 Men and a Lady	                45
Flatulent Deflectors	                43

We'll be back next week on Thursday at 8pm (two weeks in a row!). Until then, check us out on Facebook or say hello to me on Twitter.

Was it a hard quiz or just hard to pay attention? Hard to tell some nights. We need a Theme Night soon. Leave a comment or let me know if you have any ideas. If you didn't know another oil rig blew up today. Working on one must pay a lot! Maybe they should try something safer to us and the environment, which is one and the same. Some highlights from tonight's quiz. Thanks for taking pictures Larry!

Scores

Roger & Me              72
Are you the there God,
    it's me Jesus?      55
5GN Bums                53
Supper Club             52
Team Couch              50
Terry Schliesman        48
Crazy Cat Queens        42
Corn Hole Pressure      40
Bastards                24

Last night was awesome. Like, super-awesome. We had a huge turnout.
Lots of new people, lots of regulars. I'm glad to see this thing
starting to pick up. But I guess that means printing out more than 16
visual round slips, eh? We also avoided a potential catastrophe due to
a slipped power cord on my part. Let's all just take a second to thank
Excel's auto-save feature.



Anyhoo. We had another dance-off tonight. Wow, you guys really went
all out. There's a video up on this page, if you can see it (it's
pretty dark) but lemme tell you, the dancer from I Wish This
Microphone Was A Penis did some things no man should do. Even for 1
free hour of pool.


We had some pretty cool rounds this time around. Evryone aced the
geometry test.Good for you guys, I'm glad you're smarter than (or just
as smart as) high school math students. It was funny though, some of
you over-thought the whole thing, giving me physics terms and drawing
diagrams. Whoa, too much.


Random knowledge: a real toughie this time. Pretty fuckin random,
if I say so myself. Lots of you guys save that Joker for the last
round, but it's not always a good idea. Last night, our top two teams
got double points on the first audio round. 32 points in one round
really puts you ahead of the pack. Think about that next time
through.


I ain't gonna name any names, but someone came up to me before the
quiz started and asked a whole bunch of questions about how the whole
thing works. I explained it all and asked if she wanted to play. The
response? "No, I think all my friends are way too high to play a
knowledge-based game tonight. We're gonna stick with pool." Well, they
eventually caved and played the whole game. And guess what? They beat
over half of the teams. Good work, high people. The rest of you should
feel the shame catching on right about now...

Oh yeah, one more point. The Awkward New Kids took my advice and took out the "new" team name. They were the Rogue Satellites last night and they dominated. Like, a lot. Check out the scores at the bottom to see how bad the damage was.

The Scores:

Rogue Satellites.......................71
Coronal Mass Ejections.................60
Helter Shelter.........................49
I Wish This Microphone Was A Penis.....49
Clymidia is not a flower ..............46
Teenie Weenie Bikini Bandits...........43
In Your Endo...........................41
Ground Zero Mosqueteers................40
No Clutch..............................39
Keep Fucking That Chicken..............39
Sucker of Balls........................35
You Wish...............................31
Team Thor..............................25
White Drugs............................24
Charlie's Angels.......................15
Complementary Angler....................8
PHIL....................................3

What an epic night of rock we had at Sloan’s! An AC/DC t-shirt, a drawing of Slash, and November Rain in the background! Was this all for Crystal’s 22nd birthday? Perhaps… Perhaps.

The Nerd Humpers reigned supreme, dominating all the rounds to take 1st with hardly a challenger. Following somewhat closely behind, The Bitchin’ Guitar Solo From November Rain kept other contenders at bay to take 2nd. No Means Yes held 3rd, trailed by The Lazy Ninjas.com. Following them, the Wookies tied with Beer make us smarter!, both leading the Fuzzy Green Balls. Bringing up the rear were 2 Sausages + A Waffle, Pat and sometimes Jim, the Electric Boogaloo, and Second Place. In last place for the entire Quiz (quite an achievement!) was Mel. So what if nobody knows what a trapezoid is? Or who the Mountain Goats are? Well, I jest… both of those are radtastic. Alas. *cheers* Photos? Indeed!

Oh Yes! It’s an electric cat!

AC/DC!!!

Slash!!!

Andy!!!

Crystal!!! Happy Birthday, sparkley lady!

Angel Demon

Ha ha ha… this one had me giggling well into the night…

Ahhhh yes. The Nerd Humpers defending 1st. For those interested, Margret is almost not a cripple any longer. She’s walking with grace and a mini-brace; no crutches at all! Congrats!

Welcome down from Canada, Dan! And nice as ever to see you, Logan! Behold The Bitchin’ Guitar Solo From November Rain!

r>No Means Yes except for those times it means no…

With one of the best team names ever, I present to you The Lazy Ninjas.com.

It might only be one, but he’s representin’ the Wookies. Way to go!



Scores? Certainly!

Nerd Humpers                                 54
The Bitchin' Guitar Solo from November Rain  45
No Means Yes                                 42
The Lazy Ninjas.com                          39
Wookies                                      38
Beer Makes Us Smartar!                       38
Fuzzy Green Balls                            34
2 Sausages + A Waffle                        25
Pat & Jim                                    14
Electric Boogaloo                            13
Second Place                                 12
Mel                                           4

You thought the last time you would hear the terms isosceles, supplementary, and hypotenuse was in your final math class as you counted down the seconds towards graduation. How wrong you were! Good thing that teacher drilled those concepts into your head just as vividly as the first time you experimented with drugs and watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory instead of going to the prom. In one flash it was like you were witnessing the extreme pigmentation of the Oompa-Loompas and the demise of Augustus Gloop all over again.

For the most part everyone was able to pull it back together in time for the second half of the quiz, a good thing too because those British voice overs were a zinger to get through after margarita number two. The Rio’s new $5 Wednesday night margarita special is a treat for every Geek. Another exciting development Geeks has moved from the bar area to one of the side rooms. The sound quality is better so look for us there next week. For now check out the team pictures:

Until next time enjoy the first week of September and take care,
Andrea

The Scores
Multiple Scorgasum and The Test Icicles 		55
Star Trek: The Voyage Home				44
Reptar!							42
The Denominators					37
The Evil League of Evil 				37
Mutt N’ Jeff						28
Nomatophobia						26
Fleet Foxes						20

We had a TON of VIPs last night: Lutherans, Republicans, beer-for-me buyers. It was like a "who's who" of GWD at TH. Most surprisingly, though, was the appearance of Lewis and Brother JB, your hosts of yore. They showed up with an entourage of JB's wife Laura and Lewis's beard. It was great to see them all.

Last night Andy discovered the deliciousness that is Long Island Ice Tea... And, yes, he is regretting it this morning. It probably didn't help that, after the quiz, we power drank with Streeter and Tommy One-Eye. But, Hell: it's Wednesday and your only young once, right?

I will be your quizmaster again next week, kiddos. If my other boss continues to schedule me for Wednesday, I might just have to quit. I have WAY more fun with you and beers at Trailhead! See you next week!

Hvis jeg ga deg min ape, så ville jeg ikke ha en.

Scores:

Diablo Sandwich                    67
5% Nation                          59
Philosorapters PVE                 56
Kittens Inspired By Tour De Fat    55
33 Chapped Minors                  53
The Pirate Ship Binge              39
+3 Nine Iron of Fire               31

Stay classy, Trailheaders. Wherever you are.

It wasn't me or Fernando, we were just drunk thanks to your generous "donations." As much as I appreciate the offer, when I have a waiting line of three drinks in front of me, I really cannot accept an offer of shots on top of it. I appreciate it. Really, I do. But I have to set an example, and belligerent drunken quizmastering just can't be a part of it. However, pithy puns and bad joke filled quizmastering is something I think Fernando and myself rather excel in. Let's see what we made fun of.

We started with a rather interesting round on geometry. Sure, most of you haven't used this stuff in years, but it remains important to know about rays and supplementary angles. And, the ever so important dodecahedron. Seriously, you need to know this when you roll for damage with your +1 Orc Slayer Two Handed Sword of Omens. From there we counted down 8 of Pitchfork Media's "We're Cooler Than You List." How dare you for insulting the great Prince. He is an amazing artist and I will not have is named sullied at my quiz. The Shins though you can piss on all day. That's fine.

Our third round featured some Beatles who are very much alive and not dead despite clues lifted from the album cover of Abbey Road. I have no idea what Lennon was trying to communicate when he said Paul was "all pizzas and fairy tales" but I'm pretty sure there were other influences involved. From there we went on to some binary answers. Round Four should have really been Round 100. One team pointed out the Binary with Twin Towers going from ONE World Trade Center to Ground ZERO. Clever girl.

Our visual round was a tour de force of movie moments we could probably do without. I'm proud that almost none of you got Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, proving that we can always block out unwanted memories. There was argument on Willy Wonka vs Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Well, there wasn't really an argument; only one had Gene Wilder. I am very proud of how many of you got Bunuel and Dali's Un Chien Andalou. Fernando took us back two decades ago to the wonderful world of 90's morning television. ReBoot was groundbreaking, but it still pretty much sucked. And while most shows on our list are easily forgotten with time, Beakman and Dr. Katz will always remain in my heart.

Our second audio round featured some real (mostly) British TV and Movies. Top Gear, if you haven't already seen it is one of the world's most popular shows and is immensely entertaining even if you have no love for cars. And Little Britain? Pure genius. BITTY! Our final round was a clever random knowledge round. Every answer consisted of two words starting with the letter B. I love that we worked Bill Bellamy into a round. He needs some respect. Speaking of respect, you have to give some for our top three teams:

Third Place
Shoot Them Like They Do on the Discovery Channel

Second Place
Unless KRQE Shows Titties at Prime Time, I'm Blowing the Place The Fuck Up

First Place
Hostage Hour: Better Than Shark Week

Before I go, I just want to say how amazingly impressed that we had two teams making fun of the Discovery Channel hostage situation mere hours after it happened. You are terrible people, but damn those are funny team names. Also, cheers to the BMW Left Your Lights On, if only for making Preston run out to the parking lot like a madman.

SCORES

Hostage Hour: Better Than Shark Week             	65
Unless KRQE Shows Titties at Prime Time,
               I'm Blowing the Place The Fuck Up	62
Shoot Them Like They Do on the Discovery Channel	61
Donkey Punch                                     	60
Anal Bum Covers                                  	51
Spoooning + Forking = Sporking                     	51
One Eyed Wonder Weasel and Hit Two Balls        	46
Gallup, WUT                                     	43
The Fellowship of the Ring                       	43
I Stevie Wonder What's in My Wonder Ball        	42
Boston Massive Chi Chis                              	40
The Quief Song                                      	37
Tom Selleck's Mustache Just Got Your Pregnant       	37
Rapa Nui                                        	35
Amateur Gynecologists                                 	34
Monkey-Sasquatch Love                           	34
To The Person Driving The BMW, You Left Your Lights On	32
Ass Burgers                                      	31
The Green Testicle                              	29
We're Too Tired For This Shit                   	28
Iraq Pullout!                                   	27
One More Try                                    	21
Awesome Face                                     	17

Okay, I mean, just wow. Obviously last night was one of the hardest quizzes we have ever had, because, well, what's a nice way to say this? You guys really sucked. I'm not putting this entirely on you, I don't expect you to know a lot about obscure experimental French films or to have any reason at all to know Neutral Milk Hotel... Wait a minute, yeah I do. Here comes this week's installment of Getting To Know An Awesome Hipster Property!

Born out of the glory of the Elephant 6 collective (i.e. the people who brought us The Apples In Stereo), this groovy little group of funky indie rockers gave us an album that will echo through college dorms for the rest of eternity. I will say right now that I think In The Aeroplane Over The Sea is without a doubt one of the most essential albums to come out of 1990's indie rock. What, you don't believe me? Why don't you listen to this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCxEWPLDg5c

Now, if that didn't rock your world to its very core, then don't bother checking out the rest of the album (also, you may not have a soul. You might want to check with your doctor on that one.) But if you found that as awesome as I do, go now and experience the awesomeness that is that album.

I swear to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I am going to make hipsters of you people yet. Yes, soon you will all be wearing scarves and bitching about how you can't get polaroid film anymore. And yes, you will learn to fucking love PBR. Mm-mmmm good. Even you, High Life Guy.

Score Report

Teabags; They Ain't Orange Pekoe Anymore                               47
We Beat A Girl Drinking Last Week                                      45
Fire PBR, Hire New Belgium And I'll Try Harder At The Bonus Questions  42
Telechubbies                                                           40
If Rugby Were Easy, It Would Be Called Your Mom                        33
La Victoria                                                            32
Trivia Crash Dummies                                                   30
Where The Fuck Is The High Life                                        26
Compton Cupcakes                                                       23

I am going to keep this short for the reasons I will lay out in the following sentences. I lifted weights on Tuesday night and it still hurts to use my arms to type or scratch my head. If anyone has Barry Bonds number let me know. I could use some HGH to speed my recovery time. In addition, it is the first and last ever 902010 day. I would like to celebrate by unleashing the power of the internet, but unlike the cartoon character Freakazoid!, I will be catching up on internet smut. I am sure you are curious about what happened last night at the Quiz, especially those of you who were there, but drank the experience away. Well, the night was a struggle for the teams, all 21 of them! The Regulars two Quiz win streak was ended at the hands of a new team.

Round By Round Analysis
1. Geometry still sucks. Team Venture are the closest to embodying the spirit of Geeks Who Drink, so of course they aced the round.
2. If you have never heard of Pitchfork Media, that is okay and it probably means that they would laugh at your iPod music collection. If the only Radiohead song you know is Creep, I will laugh at you.
3. Are the Beatles overrated or am I just tired of hearing about them? This was by far the most succesful round of the night. Venture was poised to run away with the title after acing another round.
4. Binary is Zeroes and Ones.
5. This is when the wheels came off for everyone. Average score of three.
6. Average score of three.
7. Average Score of 2.4. Just when you thought it could not get any worse.
8. Just when you thought you could relax, random knowledge creates carnage. The one man team Lone Wolf scored 10. The team that won scored ten. Everyone else turned in an answer sheet.

Picture Time!

Scores

Balloon Knot                                                       54
Team Venture                                                       52
Just The Tip                                                       51
Crucial Taunt                                                      46
The Massive Shake Weights                                          43
I Am Not A Gynecologist But I'll Take A Look                       36
The Raging Clues                                                   34
They Made Us Sit Outside                                           34
Sex Panthers                                                       31
Dynamic Dorks                                                      29
Flying Platypi                                                     28
Double Complete Rainbow                                            26
Mary's Monsters                                                    26
Screw The Regulars                                                 26
That's My O-Face Oh, Oh, Oh!                                       26
Usually Eighth                                                     26
Lone Wolf                                                          24
Joshua                                                             16
LaMunyon                                                           10
Feather Stone                                                       9
Tranny Pimps From Hawaii                                            9

I forgot to do it this week, so make sure you show up next Wednesday for a special sing-along.

Green