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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
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12:55 PM, April 23, 2015
Scores
Crack Suicide Squad 84

Things you hear in a whorehouse 82

Lover ballz 75

Hydroxl Group 73

Bigger than Yeezus 72

Slow speed: deep owls. 72

Professor Sodomy J. Balltickle 71

The Lone Gunman 69

Glamazons 66

Evil Olive 66

Back Porch Philosophers 63

Pretty Pretty Princesses 59

Undecided 59

Money does grow on trees 55

Libyan Refuge Swim Team 54

Rainbow I 50

Doctor Nick: Thymelord


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Quiz Schedule
Sundays & Wednesdays: Piper Down 7:30pm.
Nick (Doctor Nick: Thymelord)

Nick is one of the rare people who was born in Las Vegas long before it became Disneyland for degenerates. His growing discomfort for heat, and ongoing feud with some Canadian boy named Celine Dion led him to the land of Zion. Upon discovering this wasn't the same land of Zion mentioned in The Matrix, he decided to make the best of the situation and began hosting pub quizzes. 

His hobbies include drinking, eating, teaching children to swear, cooking, and being one of the last people on earth who thinks CDs are the only way to buy music. His turnoffs are walks on the beach, because that combines sun, sand, and countless bacterias growing in the moist heat. 

By day he looks at an endless supply of MBA student assignments and weeps for the future. His most recent inappropriate comment to a student was, "I could take your business proposal to run an armoury for Live-Action-Role-Players seriously if it wasn't for the 793 grammatical errors which impeded my giggling."

He's not a licensed therapist, but he's happy to take a look inside your head and solve your problems. Better yet, come out to a quiz and drink your troubles away.

[this space available for expensive advertisements]

Palindromes, man. Without our round on palindromes last night, would many of us be aware that our eyes are home to things that sound like Middle Earth locations? The Zonule of Zinn? The Canal of Schlemm? It gets even weirder when we attempt to learn what these things are. The Zonule of Zinn is made up of the hyaloid fossa...

This is some medieval monster battle shit going on in your eye.

I now understand why optometrists all seem a little weird.

I'm kidding, optometrists, you're alright in my book

Anyways, thanks to a fairly brutal round two, we had a couple of teams primarily battling it out for the top two spots. Though Lover Ballz and The Hydroxl Group made a valliant effort to fight their way to the top.

And let's give a shout out to our palindrome team names! Slow speed: deep owls and Evil Olive!

But it was a round-eight upset by Crack Suicide Squad with just a couple points over Things you hear in a whorehouse. I'm guessing awkward tears are heard in a whorehouse. Just like last night...

Remember the Marvel Cinematic Universe quiz coming up on May 2 (at Gracie's), and the Quiz For A Cause we will be doing right here at Piper Down Wednesday, May 6.

And if you need legal help, Open Legal Services is there for you! (shameless plug, and no, I haven't been paid to say that)

(Yet...)

Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
8:06 AM, April 20, 2015
Scores
The exact moment Madonna laid her eggs in Drake 81

Hillary Clit Ons 75

Hillary's (Chipotle) fish tacos 74

Dick Bangdana 74

We miss Joel 73

The New Cougar Inn Owners 73

Magnificent Bastards 71

Drinks who Geek 65

Topical Humor 64

60% of the time, we win every time 64

Sarcasm â?? beats killing people 63

We're never going home, Chewie 63

Stinky cheese 61

One letter makes all the difference: Chewie, we're homo 60

Suck it losers 52

The Odd Couple 44

Doctor Nick: Thymelord


Twitter
Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
Sundays & Wednesdays: Piper Down 7:30pm.
Nick (Doctor Nick: Thymelord)

Nick is one of the rare people who was born in Las Vegas long before it became Disneyland for degenerates. His growing discomfort for heat, and ongoing feud with some Canadian boy named Celine Dion led him to the land of Zion. Upon discovering this wasn't the same land of Zion mentioned in The Matrix, he decided to make the best of the situation and began hosting pub quizzes. 

His hobbies include drinking, eating, teaching children to swear, cooking, and being one of the last people on earth who thinks CDs are the only way to buy music. His turnoffs are walks on the beach, because that combines sun, sand, and countless bacterias growing in the moist heat. 

By day he looks at an endless supply of MBA student assignments and weeps for the future. His most recent inappropriate comment to a student was, "I could take your business proposal to run an armoury for Live-Action-Role-Players seriously if it wasn't for the 793 grammatical errors which impeded my giggling."

He's not a licensed therapist, but he's happy to take a look inside your head and solve your problems. Better yet, come out to a quiz and drink your troubles away.

[this space available for expensive advertisements]

The biggest question of the quiz really is, who the hell did Miss Cleo upset to actually get shut down by the FTC? Turn on the television any time, and it is downright littered with fraudulent businesses, phony claims, and downright scumbuckets. And then you have your spam folder in your inbox...

It seems like a huge portion of the disaster we call our economy is due to pyramid schemes and cons, but Miss Cleo is one of the few that actually gets shut down by our nations' alleged commerce protectors. I'm guessing she did a psychic reading for the head of the FTC, and something went wrong with her advice.

If anyone actually believed Miss Cleo had super powers, they deserve to be in financial destitution. Actually, could we just do them a favor and open suicide booths Futurama style? These people truly have nothing to look forward to aside from the next series of KFC collectible buckets.

But, on a lighter side... What a spectacular evening, and a final round comeback for Hillary Clit Ons, who pulled up into second. The exact moment Madonna laid her eggs in Drake managed to capture the win after dominating round two, and they just didn't let go.

Now excuse me while I legally watch Game of Thrones and then dream about the alien egg implantation. 

Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
10:20 AM, April 16, 2015
Scores
Crack Suicide Squad 88

Rent-a-dildo 83

Tap that maple 78

Sixpence None the Richer 76

Balls Deep 76

#fangirlproblems 74

K&A 74

Sister Wives 74

Tucson PD Airlines 73

Team Zissou Intern 72

Happy Humpy Holy Crap it's tax day 63

P*$$y Weed 63

Panda sex orgy 61

Please quiz my booboo 60

Just the tip 60

Switchblade 59

Winnebago Warriors 52

Hi Mom! I love you! 50

Off Constantly 49

The magnificunt Russel Stover 45

The downlow 33

Doctor Nick: Thymelord


Twitter
Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
Sundays & Wednesdays: Piper Down 7:30pm.
Nick (Doctor Nick: Thymelord)

Nick is one of the rare people who was born in Las Vegas long before it became Disneyland for degenerates. His growing discomfort for heat, and ongoing feud with some Canadian boy named Celine Dion led him to the land of Zion. Upon discovering this wasn't the same land of Zion mentioned in The Matrix, he decided to make the best of the situation and began hosting pub quizzes. 

His hobbies include drinking, eating, teaching children to swear, cooking, and being one of the last people on earth who thinks CDs are the only way to buy music. His turnoffs are walks on the beach, because that combines sun, sand, and countless bacterias growing in the moist heat. 

By day he looks at an endless supply of MBA student assignments and weeps for the future. His most recent inappropriate comment to a student was, "I could take your business proposal to run an armoury for Live-Action-Role-Players seriously if it wasn't for the 793 grammatical errors which impeded my giggling."

He's not a licensed therapist, but he's happy to take a look inside your head and solve your problems. Better yet, come out to a quiz and drink your troubles away.

[this space available for expensive advertisements]

They say the only certain things in life are death and taxes. But... Okay, I'll try not to rant too much, but we make life much too easy for people to avoid death these days. I guess, eventually we all must die. But just look at the Florida news and you will see how ridiculous our society has become in being able to protect people from themselves. Now, some of this is facilitated through the payment of taxes. But think about all the billionaires and corporations who pay no taxes and face practically no consequences. So should we amend that statement to be “The only certain things in life are death and taxes, unless you're rich enough?”

I'm sure we're pretty close to harvesting middle-class bodies to keep the wealthy alive forever. So let's just stop talking about taxes like they are some sort of troll that lives under a bridge and eats children for fun. Not for nourishment, not because they were bad. Just for fucking fun.

The only certain thing in life is that you will frequently have to make the choice between telling a friend they are a fucking moron, or just blocking whatever nonsense neo-con-KKK Facebook page they are constantly sharing posts from.

The struggle is real, man.

It also seems certain that Crack Suicide Squad can often manage to pull off a win. Rent-A-Dildo and others came close to giving them a run for it, but they managed to pull it off. Big congratulations to those two teams for winning their prizes, and to the rest of you for being suave and beautiful bastards!

See you next time. 

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