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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
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10:31 AM, September 18, 2014
Scores
Switchblades 77

Back Porch Philosophers 76

Kanye's standing ovation 75

I hear the jury's still out on science 73

I learned all my marital and parenting skillz from the NFL 73

Urban Outfitter's new slavery inspired loincloth 73

Secretariat of State 71

Schoolhouse Rock 70

Crack Suicide Squad 69

ISIS: Better family values than the NFL 69

Scottish freedom fighters do it in the ballot box 67

Off Constantly 67

The grown ups 66

Beer flavoured titties 66

Clearly we have no friends from Utah 64

Prison Fantasy League 62

#fangirlproblems 60

Sister Wives 56

Sexual favours 55

Purple cows 52

Pop quiz in my pants 50

White Power Rangers 41

The unholy trinity 41

Team Ram Rod 13

Doctor Nick: Thymelord


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Quiz Schedule
Sundays & Wednesdays: Piper Down 7:30pm.
Nick (Doctor Nick: Thymelord)

Nick is one of the rare people who was born in Las Vegas long before it became Disneyland for degenerates. His growing discomfort for heat, and ongoing feud with some Canadian boy named Celine Dion led him to the land of Zion. Upon discovering this wasn't the same land of Zion mentioned in The Matrix, he decided to make the best of the situation and began hosting pub quizzes. 

His hobbies include drinking, eating, teaching children to swear, cooking, and being one of the last people on earth who thinks CDs are the only way to buy music. His turnoffs are walks on the beach, because that combines sun, sand, and countless bacterias growing in the moist heat. 

By day he looks at an endless supply of MBA student assignments and weeps for the future. His most recent inappropriate comment to a student was, "I could take your business proposal to run an armoury for Live-Action-Role-Players seriously if it wasn't for the 793 grammatical errors which impeded my giggling."

He's not a licensed therapist, but he's happy to take a look inside your head and solve your problems. Better yet, come out to a quiz and drink your troubles away.

[this space available for expensive advertisements]

Back in the saddle, so to speak. I missed you, really I did. I mean, centuries old castles and churches are cool, not to mention the craftsmanship of Belgian beers, chocolates, and waffles. But those things just can't replace you. They tried, oh lord, they did try.

But really, it is great to be back, and I'm glad we had such a nail-biting finish. And speaking of biting... We discovered the word “kummerspeck” last night. Literally translated as “grief bacon.” The fact that germans not only acknowledged our psychological tendencies to eat when we're depressed, but specifically assigned the phenomenon to bacon is absolute genius. For all of us out there, who look in the mirror, step on the scale, or otherwise acknowledge that we're not entirely happy with the extra few pounds, we can explain this to our friends and family. It's kummerspeck. Knowing that we have the problem will help us cope and deal with our issues. Remember, it's not our problems that are the problem, it's how we handle the problems.

Switchblade didn't have a problem taking an early lead after round three. Nearly edging out of a tie in round two, they took the top spot and never looked back. Back Porch Philosophers managed to edge their way to a second place finish.

See you next time!

Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
10:02 PM, September 14, 2014
Scores
wilford brimley, satans cowboy 72

motley triviateers 67

briefcase tacos 65

hot tub underwear league 62

happy birthday paul 60

topical humor 58

dainty queef 57

foosball is for the devil 54

scrotumbrella 54

twat swatters 52

tom brady finally got a high five 46

dick bangdana 42

good thing I swiped right 37

tri nations 34

Gar


Web

Quiz Schedule
Gracie's-Tuesdays, The Tap Room-Wednesdays
Ryan (Gar)

Gar is an idiot man-child who likes cats, video games and beer.

He's a huge fan of Jeopardy, going so far as to acquire Alex Trebek's former mustache, which causes him to look like Ron Swanson. Mustache got Delilah'd

Despite the occasional run-on sentence, Gar is a dedicated Grammar Nazi. He's also a giant stickler for rules, mainly because his anxious disposition precludes from him convincingly pulling off any untoward behavior of his own.

A social recluse by day, the prospect of booze-fueled battles of wits propels him to leave the warm, comforting glow of his computer monitor each night for pub quiz.

It's been a pleasure quizzing with you all. It's my last night at Piper and the last quiz I'll ever do again... sober.

Yes that's right. I was stone cold sober. No, I haven't become a teetotaler, but I did have a pretty epic binking dringe, I mean drinking binge on Saturday and my body rejected the idea of any more alcohol yesterday. Or maybe I was still drunk, I don't know.

During the course of this binge I met a Captain Jack Sparrow look-a-like, humiliated a good friend at a mellow house party, and tried to play Guitar Hero on hard after a several-year lapse in practice.

Also, when I went to show my ID to the 7-11 clerk for my beer he explained I was way past that. Well, I guess I'm finally old. Fuck...

But worry not, I'm sure the next quiz you'll find me at I'll be three sheets to the wind. Because if anything, I am incapable of learning from my mistakes.

Anywho, hot quiz tonight! Some top contenders early in the quiz fell to late bloomers. Wilford Brimley, Satan's Cowboy swept away the competition with their epic and infernal womb broom.

In second we had Mötley Triviateers. Since I know a little german, it's hard for me to pronounce the hair metal band names the way they intended, but I persevered and everyone was cool with it.

And I couldn't forget mentioning the majesty that is the team name Dainty Queef. You'll always have a special place in my heart.

I love you all.

-Gar

P.S. Nick will be back Wednesday. He's going to have some trouble readjusting to American life, so bring a healthy dose of freedom for him.

P.P.S. This Thursday is the Seinfeld quiz. POISE COUNTS!!!

Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
12:09 PM, September 11, 2014
Scores
crack suicide squad 81

stewardess I speak jive 80

joan rivers diesd as she lived undergoing surgery 78

pork soda 74

where the fuck is nick 69

optum 68

david bowies codpiece 67

white rabbit 65

if its too short than throw it in sideways 64

we should be stupid for as cute as we are 62

penis by black and decker 61

sarcacasm beats killing people 60

ray rice is a gentle lover 59

the vajazzlers 57

#fangirlproblems 55

rent a dildo 50

back porch philosphers 49

t's beard 48

we mean business 42

sister wives 40

jimmy johns schlongs 35

ogre achievers 19

Gar


Web

Quiz Schedule
Gracie's-Tuesdays, The Tap Room-Wednesdays
Ryan (Gar)

Gar is an idiot man-child who likes cats, video games and beer.

He's a huge fan of Jeopardy, going so far as to acquire Alex Trebek's former mustache, which causes him to look like Ron Swanson. Mustache got Delilah'd

Despite the occasional run-on sentence, Gar is a dedicated Grammar Nazi. He's also a giant stickler for rules, mainly because his anxious disposition precludes from him convincingly pulling off any untoward behavior of his own.

A social recluse by day, the prospect of booze-fueled battles of wits propels him to leave the warm, comforting glow of his computer monitor each night for pub quiz.

Another hell of a quiz we had last night. The competish was intense!

Pork Soda was in a prime position for most of the quiz, but cracked under the pressure of Crack Suicide Squad, who kicked everyone else's bucket.

Stewardess I Speak Jive used their urban lingual prowess to pray to J and did the same-ol', same-ol'! By which I mean they got second place!

For those keeping tally, this was by far my least sweaty sesh at Piper. I like to think it's because we've grown so close this past week and a half. What I'm trying to say is, I think I'm ready to take this relationship to the next level. What? Nick's coming back next week? You cold sons of bitches. I thought we had something special. I'm gonna need some alone time for a while.

-Garfully Nickless

P.S. JK I still love you. Nick is a wonderful man and I think you'll be very happy together.

P.P.S. Seinfeld quiz next week!

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