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Ozzie's Seattle
105 W Mercer St
Seattle, WA 98119
Wednesdays: 7:00 PM
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12:32 AM, January 29, 2015
Scores
Star Wars Episode XI: Break Like the Wind 81

Super Bowel 80

Nunya Quiz-ness 78

Dark Helmet 77

Sea……MEN! 72

Surprise Sex Party! 72

Let's Get Weird! 68

My Favorite 'Friends' Character is Gunther 59

Boo-urns 56

Jared


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Quiz Schedule
Wednesday, 7 p.m., Ozzie's
Jared ()

Not so long ago, I was on a team playing quiz and we ruled the school. My personal areas of expertise were both audio rounds, anything involving movies, and American history. One night, I was the only guy in the bar who knew the name of the current prime minister of England.

We placed first almost every week. So often that it became stale and I needed a new challenge. So instead of angering fellow geeks by besting them, I decided I would anger them by doing the asking. So I became a quizmaster and I've been pissing them off ever since.  

Guys, the “Friends” quiz is tomorrow night. And wouldn’t you know it, there was an episode on when I got home tonight. Not just any episode. A season one episode! A Marcel episode! At first I rolled my eyes, but then, guess what…it made me chuckle a few times. This of course just led to a huge flashback of flipping through my sister’s “Seventeen” magazines and wishing my parents had the money and the common sense to buy me Tommy Hilfiger shirts and Jnco jeans. Or maybe I’m a better person now because I wasn’t given overpriced materialistic crap.

No, fuck that. I wanted to star in “The Faculty”!

The More We Know:

  • There’s a game on “America’s Funniest Home Videos” known as “Head, Gut, or Groin”. Even the word “butt” is too risqué for ABC. 
  • Speaking of the ‘90s, remember when Richard Jewell blew up Bob Dole’s Viagra supply? Ah…were we ever so young? (Please don’t answer either one of those.) 
  • And have the Ninja Turtles ruined the word “tubular” for us that we no longer grasp its literal meaning? Like when I’m trying to flirt with a woman and tell her “Tonight’s going to be totally tubular…”  

 

Best Worst Answers:

  • The team that wrote down “Adam Gold” instead of “Adam Goldberg:” I wanted to give you guys the point so bad, I really did. 
  • The team that wrote down “Jared Duncan” instead of “Adam Goldberg:” It was moronic and cheap, but I wanted to give you guys the point so bad, I really did. 
  • And to the team that wrote down “Japan” on every single question where there were only two answers: You’re smart, but I don’t like you. This is the equivalent of bunting every time to bat. 

 

Team Name Hall O’ Fame:

  • Sea……MEN! – Mocking the city’s chant and making a sex joke in one fell swoop. 
  • Nunya Quiz-ness – The mayors of Sassytown. 
  • Super Bowel – Once again, lampooning sports and being sophomoric all at once. It’s a guaranteed favorite! 

 

See Yew Next Wednesday.

Ozzie's Seattle
105 W Mercer St
Seattle, WA 98119
Wednesdays: 7:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
12:24 AM, January 22, 2015
Scores
Mashed Potatoes! 89

Tom Brady's Deflated Balls 84

Better Off Ted 82

Tracy Chapman's Balls 81

Dark Helmet 78

Here for the Beer 78

I Will Give You a Hug if You Buy Me a Beer 78

Humptulips-Bothell 76

The Slackers Bailed on Us :( 71

Kick Rocks 55

The Resistance 40

Jared


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Web

Quiz Schedule
Wednesday, 7 p.m., Ozzie's
Jared ()

Not so long ago, I was on a team playing quiz and we ruled the school. My personal areas of expertise were both audio rounds, anything involving movies, and American history. One night, I was the only guy in the bar who knew the name of the current prime minister of England.

We placed first almost every week. So often that it became stale and I needed a new challenge. So instead of angering fellow geeks by besting them, I decided I would anger them by doing the asking. So I became a quizmaster and I've been pissing them off ever since.  

Do you ever love something so much that you have to destroy it and rebuild it from the ground up just to save it?

Well, that’s not what happened with quiz tonight. It was pretty standard. Same goes for this blog. Don’t get me wrong, though…I love them both.

The More We Know ?:

  • “Chachi” does not mean “penis” in Korean. That’s “Go-chu.” Take it from someone who talked about penises for a whole year in Korea.
  • Some people think that Kansas City is a Midwest capitol. WRONG. Topeka is the city that gave you Kathleen Sebelius, you cretins.
  • Yes, in the third installment of “The Karate Kid”, Daniel-san didn’t pursue Elizabeth Shue or Kumiko, but rather, a bunch of bonsai trees. Have a little confidence, Daniel-san…

Best Worst Answers:

  • So when asked what date Patriot Day was (Sept. 11), some team tried to make a marijuana reference and accidentally put down Hitler’s birthday (Aprl. 20).  Hey, the Tauruses gotta stick together.
  • So many teams confused Edward Norton breaking out into song with “American History X” or its unrealized sequel. I really don’t know how to break it to you guys…
  • And on round five, some dumb team put “Look Who’s Talking” as answer number four instead of number six! Can you believe it?! …I’ll be honest, I really didn’t have anything else to put in this category….you guys did really well this week.

Team Name Hall of Fame:

  • Tom Brady’s Deflated Balls – What else needs to be said?
  • I’ll Give You a Hug if You Buy Me a Beer – I don’t know if this ever came to fruition. I’m sure this gentleman has no problem getting hugs, though.
  • The Resistance – Just a simple, badass name. I thought this was a punk band at first.

See you next Wednesday!

Ozzie's Seattle
105 W Mercer St
Seattle, WA 98119
Wednesdays: 7:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
12:06 AM, January 15, 2015
Scores
Kneel Before Zotz! 81

Tell-Tale Heartthrobs 76

Dark Helmet 71

Bad News Beers: Rise of the Machine 69

Dane Drinks! 45

Drinkers That Don't Have Answers 40

Sorry We're Late, Dad 32

Jared


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Quiz Schedule
Wednesday, 7 p.m., Ozzie's
Jared ()

Not so long ago, I was on a team playing quiz and we ruled the school. My personal areas of expertise were both audio rounds, anything involving movies, and American history. One night, I was the only guy in the bar who knew the name of the current prime minister of England.

We placed first almost every week. So often that it became stale and I needed a new challenge. So instead of angering fellow geeks by besting them, I decided I would anger them by doing the asking. So I became a quizmaster and I've been pissing them off ever since.  

You know, it was a relatively quiet night. Then I drank more alcohol, and it became less quiet as people shouted, “What?!” Because I was slurring the questions, you see.

Maybe also because the trivia sons and daughters showed up and I became completely belligerent. Ladies’ choice. Gentlemen’s choice, as well...I’m not sexist.

What We Learned Tonight:

  • “The Battle of Seattle” featured almost 40,000 protestors, none of whom were trust-fund kids wearing bandanas and throwing rocks through the windows of the Nike building. Please take note, May Day anarchists.
  • For those that don’t listen to The Black Eyed Peas, “humps” are the breasts of human women. Still no word on what “lovely lady lumps” actually are.
  • John Madden used to be the Raiders’ coach, and not the human ham/video game brand name he is today.

Best Worst Answers:

  • There is currently no weather pattern called “Rob-Schneider-Air,” but maybe we could use that for when the atmosphere SUCKS all the air out of a particular region…because he’s the worst.
  • Paula Dean never coached the Raiders, or any team for that matter, but she does have some very Madden-esque features. Butter.
  • Liam Neeson did not compose music for Spielberg’s films, but he did call and physically threaten the guy that did.

Team Name Hall of Fame:

  • Kneel Before Zotz! – Had to do some research before I found this over at www.oldtimecandy.com. Yes, really.
  • Dane Drinks! – At first I thought this was a play on “Dane Cooks”, but then I discovered that there was just some dude name Dane on the team. Still…
  • The Tell-Tale Heartthrobs – I’m sure they really are, but the alliteration and my growing buzz made this name a nightmare.

See you next Wednesday!

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