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Ozzie's Seattle
105 W Mercer St
Seattle, WA 98119
Wednesdays: 7:00 PM
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12:26 AM, August 21, 2014
Scores
The Figs Is In 84

The $6,000,000 B.J. 79

42 69

I Liked It Better When Ferguson Annoyed Clarissa 67

Ben Franklinstein 61

Harry Balls 61

I Left My Heart In Tarek's Body 60

Aussies at Ozzie's 51

The St. Louis Rebels 50

Jared


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Quiz Schedule
Wednesday, 7 p.m., Ozzie's
Jared ()

Not so long ago, I was on a team playing quiz and we ruled the school. My personal areas of expertise were both audio rounds, anything involving movies, and American history. One night, I was the only guy in the bar who knew the name of the current prime minister of England.

We placed first almost every week. So often that it became stale and I needed a new challenge. So instead of angering fellow geeks by besting them, I decided I would anger them by doing the asking. So I became a quizmaster and I've been pissing them off ever since.  

I don't have a Twitter, I don't have a blog, and none of my Facebook friends are real friends. So, essentially this is my only outlet for the stupid thoughts that enter my mind. Here's the latest entry:

I want to live in a world where child labor laws are so strict that kids can't even act in TV shows or movies. So all children parts have to be played by adults. Like a Mexican soap opera.

On to the quiz. How do you know summer's over? When nine fucking teams show up! The band of merry figs showed up were looking like a bunch of amateurs until the end when they came through and trounced the competition. Competition....you get an A for effort.  

The More We Know:

  • Every Dave Mattews song sounds the same. Maybe this doesn't belong here, but I don't have a "Reinforced Knowledge" section. Sorry.
  • "True Blood" is apparently a show for full-grown adults. Had me fooled...
  • Larry King is old as shit. Maybe it is time to start that "Reinforced Knowledge" section.

Best Worst Answers:

  • Confusing Bruce Springsteen with John Mellencamp is a problem plaguing over 60% of Top 40 Radio listeners. Please help.
  • On the other side of that coin, before tonight, NO ONE has ever confused the Insane Clown Posse with Justin Bieber. I can add "Don't text your grandmother for answers" to the rules if I need to.
  • And when asking for the name of an actress from "All in the Family", a good half of the teams wrote down Edith Bunker. You guys know she wasn't a real person, right?

Team Name Hall of Fame:

  • Aussies at Ozzie's - The fact that until the final two rounds you spelled Aussies with two "Z"s shows me just how Australian you are.
  • Ben Franklinstein - I cannot resist a good play on words. I can't!
  • I Liked It Better When Ferguson Annoyed Clarissa - Topical, controversial, and a Millennial referenace...this name has it all.
Ozzie's Seattle
105 W Mercer St
Seattle, WA 98119
Wednesdays: 7:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
12:39 AM, August 14, 2014
Scores
Sometimes When You Win, You Lose 84

Good Will Farting 74

Good Will Bunting 63

I Love Mice 56

Jared


Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
Wednesday, 7 p.m., Ozzie's
Jared ()

Not so long ago, I was on a team playing quiz and we ruled the school. My personal areas of expertise were both audio rounds, anything involving movies, and American history. One night, I was the only guy in the bar who knew the name of the current prime minister of England.

We placed first almost every week. So often that it became stale and I needed a new challenge. So instead of angering fellow geeks by besting them, I decided I would anger them by doing the asking. So I became a quizmaster and I've been pissing them off ever since.  

Blue skies are gonna clear up ?…And the blue skies did indeed clear up, as 90-degree weather turned into overcast 60-degree weather this week. And so strange that it happened on a Wednesday. Almost like the weather gods knew that there was a new sheriff in town. A sheriff that brandishes a red pen in his holster, ready to dole out points and insults at a moment’s notice. Even the clouds and the atmosphere know the sacred rule: Do. Not. Fuck. With. The. Quizmaster.

Robin Willaims team names were all the rage this week, except for one team, but they couldn’t even be bothered to write down their name for half the rounds tonight, so we won’t even mention them. Instead, we’ll pay tribute by displaying an absolutely marvelous sign I saw on my way home:

             

The More We Know:

  • Despite what TBS would have you believe, “Jumanji” only earned 100 million dollars at the box office, not even putting it in the top ten highest grossing Robin Williams films. Pretty sure it’s number one on David Alan Grier’s list, though.
  • And despite what Robin Sparkles would have you believe, Tim Horton’s is not the only place to buy coffee in Canada. Nickelback’s bassist proudly spelled your name wrong at Starbucks once upon a time.
  • Jennifer Lopez has a sex tape. You’re welcome. 

Best Worst Answers:

  • Attempting to answer the four rovers that the United States has sent to Mars, one team wrote down the names of The Beatles.
  • Yet another team just wrote down the names of Transformers.
  • Maybe it doesn’t belong here, but there’s nowhere else to put it (that’s what she said): You people know your celebrities. Every team got a perfect score on the video round!

Team Name Hall of Fame:

  • Good Will Bunting – You switched a letter, so…sure?
  • Good Will Farting – Nothing terribly clever here, but I think Robin might’ve appreciated it.
  • Sometimes When You Win, You Lose – The team took this quote from “What Dreams May Come”, but did you know it was originally said by Rosie Perez in “White Men Can’t Jump”? I just shat on your dreams that may come…

 

Ozzie's Seattle
105 W Mercer St
Seattle, WA 98119
Wednesdays: 7:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
12:49 AM, August 07, 2014
Scores
Beware Our Pelvic Sorcery 81

Screwed Without Alexis 74

Seattle Sausagefest 73

The Green Machine 66

Jared


Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
Wednesday, 7 p.m., Ozzie's
Jared ()

Not so long ago, I was on a team playing quiz and we ruled the school. My personal areas of expertise were both audio rounds, anything involving movies, and American history. One night, I was the only guy in the bar who knew the name of the current prime minister of England.

We placed first almost every week. So often that it became stale and I needed a new challenge. So instead of angering fellow geeks by besting them, I decided I would anger them by doing the asking. So I became a quizmaster and I've been pissing them off ever since.  

It’s been such a nice, sun-shiny week here in Seattle that I thought I’d write a little bit about the pedestrianly journey I take every Wednesday to Ozzie’s. And by sun-shiny, I mean I’m sweating like a rattlesnake at a Thai wedding by the time I get to the bar.

There are two things that get me going for quiz: I pass a little coffee shop that closes around 5:00. By the time I get there, the patio furniture is always chained up and stacked neatly, and there’s always a bagel or some sort of baked good wrapped in plastic and sitting on a table, ready for a hungry person to grab and enjoy. That warms my cockles. All right, now I feel like Garrison Keillor, so let’s move on.

The other thing I pass is an office space that’s available for rent with a realtor’s ad in the window. I usually don’t wish misfortune upon others (not out loud, anyway), but I hope this place never gets sold. And the only reason is that I never want to stop seeing this guy’s face:

                        

 The More We Know:

  • Michael Crichton is an MD, that’s why all of that “Jurassic Park” stuff is so accurate. MD stands for Master of Dinos, right?
  • The Westboro Baptist Church does vengeful God parodies of pop songs. I never heard any of them before tonight, but now I won’t be able to hear “Philadelphia Freedom” without wanting to sing “God hates YOU!”
  • And for quizzers who were wondering: Candlepin bowling is regional to Canadian Maritime provinces and New England. And yes, they look weird.

Best Worst Answers:

  • There was one team that thought that regional form of bowling with cylindrical pins was Plinko. You guys are Bob Barking up the wrong tree. (Yes, I get paid for this)
  • Another team thought that Sylvester Stallone and Tim Curry starred in “Scarface”. I’m embarrassed by how much I would pay to see that happen.
  • I ask what bone the “big hole” is on and almost everyone writes down pelvis. Guys, get your minds and your candlepins out of the gutter.

Team Name Hall of Fame:

  • Beware Our Pelvic Sorcery – I totally called this team having a “Guardians of the Galaxy” name this week, but I absolutely can’t fault them for it.
  • Seattle Sausagefest – If anyone has any more information for when this is happening, please let me know. It sounds delicious.
  • The Green Machine – They were a new team, and I probably shouldn’t do this, but: Did you guys choose this name because you’re green with envy of the other teams’ scores? (I’m so sorry)

 

 

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