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Natty Greene's Brewing Co.
505 West Jones Street
Raleigh, NC 27603
Tuesdays: 7:30 PM
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10:42 AM, November 26, 2014
Scores
Are We Having Fun Yet? 81

Festivus For The Rest Of Us 78

Chuck Hagel's Retirement Party 74

This Load Isn't Blowing Itself 72

Whore-ass-dick World 72

Lasagna For One 69

J-E-L-L-BALLS 68

Semen Squeegees 68

Too Big to Fail 66

Something Strange is Afoot at the Circle K 61

Supercalifragilick My Balls 61

Next Beers are On Me 59

Manziel Hits Like A Girl 58

That Special Customer 58

The Cunning Minds Behind the Shadowy Disguise 55

Three Chicks and a Dick 55

Needs Improvement 46

Milk In A Wine Glass 42

Hoffstradamus


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Quiz Schedule
Tuesdays at Natty Greene's - 7:30PM-9:30PM (Raleigh, NC)
Alex Hofford (Hoffstradamus)

Hola! My name is Alex and I am the Quizmaster at Natty Greene's in Raleigh. I also perform comedy in the Triangle at DSI Comedy and with the improv group BONE CRACKER.

Ointment is a weird word.

Did you all see the Jurassic World trailer?!?!? We are mere months from being whisked away to another tropical amusement park brim-filled with prehistoric predators, and I couldn’t be more excited. I have fond childhood memories of being scared to near-borderline PTSD levels when the velociraptors skulked through the kitchen looking for Richard Attenborough’s grandkids, and don’t get me started about seeing the Tyrannosaurus Rex for the first time. That screamhowlyell the T-Rex did has echoed in my brain ever since.

In the new movie, the plot centers around the opening of Jurassic World, and the scientists behind the operation have been meddling with genetics to create a brand-spanking-new dinosaur. As these types of God-playing scenarios are wont to do, the hybrid dinosaur gets out of its pen, and begins to wreak havoc throughout the island.

Cases like this are the reason why scientists need to start out small and build up from there. If they had created a dinosaur that would grow to the size of a house cat and wouldn’t have sharp teeth to tear into flesh, it seems like they could avoid this situation entirely.

Instead, the scientists offered a resounding “NOOOOOOPE,” swung for the bleachers with their new super-terrifying killing machine, and have now put an entire island of tourists at risk.

I can’t wait to watch the consequences of this scientific hubris. It’s going to be shamazing. 

—————————————

Man, Chuck Hagel’s Retirement Party was sure upset when they heard they finished in third place tonight. It’s OK, y’all - keep plugging away, and you’ll crack into the top two. Meanwhile, Festivus For The Rest Of Us managed to pull second-place, and Are We Having Fun Yet? clearly had the most fun because they walked out of Natty’s on top. Dope job, peeps.

—————————————

Interesting Notes from the Quiz!:

- Snakes have two penises. The sooner you can come to grips with that, the better off you’ll be.

- Dogs can indeed sweat, but Big Al says dogs can’t look up.

- Thanks for sitting through my obnoxious French accent in Round 6. Or was it just a normal French accent? You’ll never know.

- Jim Carrey’s top three highest-grossing movies depressed everyone.

Awesome Team Name Shout-Outs!:

- This Load Isn’t Blowing Itself

- J-E-L-L-BALLS

- Supercalifragilickmyballs

- Whore-ass-dick World

—————————————

Follow me on Twitter! - @ahoff101

Like the music at the quiz? Check out the Spotify playlist! Geeks Who Drink - Raleigh Jamz

Natty Greene's Brewing Co.
505 West Jones Street
Raleigh, NC 27603
Tuesdays: 7:30 PM
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Comment Now
10:22 AM, November 19, 2014
Scores
#TEAMNAME 89

Lasagna For One 76

Are We Having Fun Yet? 74

Applebee's Goon Squad 73

Charles Manson Can Get Married and I Can't 73

Apes in the Control Room 72

Up Your Butt and Around the Corner 72

101 Days of Ebola Abstinence 68

You Can't Drink All Day if You Don't Start in the Morning 62

Dream Cream 60

Brontowhoreus 59

O HorIzon 58

Team Rocket 56

5 Plus 55

I Have More Parents Than Friends 52

Waiting for Duffman 52

I Thought This Was Speed-Dating?! 44

Call Me Maybe 21

Hoffstradamus


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Web

Quiz Schedule
Tuesdays at Natty Greene's - 7:30PM-9:30PM (Raleigh, NC)
Alex Hofford (Hoffstradamus)

Hola! My name is Alex and I am the Quizmaster at Natty Greene's in Raleigh. I also perform comedy in the Triangle at DSI Comedy and with the improv group BONE CRACKER.

Ointment is a weird word.

Since September, I’ve had the fortunate opportunity to work somewhere within walking distance from my house. It’s been the perfect opportunity to get a 20ish-minute stroll in before I start the workday, and it certainly helps keep me from using my car to drive a handful of city blocks each morning.

This was all well and fine until the seasons changed.

The last couple of days have been bone-chilling (for NC standards), yet I’ve still opted to hoof it to the office. And what a mistake that was! I’m woefully unprepared clothes-wise, so every chilly breeze cuts through the thin layers I’m wearing, biting at my skin until I can’t feel anything.

So I’ve figured out a few pro-tips to use in case you find yourself having to walk in the arctic freeze settling across this great nation of ours. These tips will keep you warm, and, in some cases, make you look like a badass.

Carry a torch

When was the last time you saw someone carrying a lit torch to light their path? If you said, “Probably the last time I watched an Indiana Jones movie,” I’d be inclined to believe you. But if you start carrying your own torch, you have a heat source right above your head, and something that will guide you home safely if you’re walking around at any time after 4:45P (y’know, when it truly starts getting dark now).

Wear ALL of your clothes

It’s way easier to take layers off than it is to put layers on, especially if you don’t have layers of clothes available to put on. So why not wear all of them? Then you can remove garments until you reach the perfect level of comfort. Genius? I know.

Do it to build character

Remember your grandfather or some other old patriarch of your family telling you how far they had to walk in the snow, just to get to school? Now you have your own opportunity to cherish the things you have while still putting yourself at the whim of weather patterns.

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Damnnnnnn, #TEAMNAME, you came out swinging, and didn’t let up at all. After perfectly Jokering Round 2, they held down the first place spot all night, and no one could buck them from their position. Lasagna for One did their best to catch up, but finished thirteen points shy landing them in second place. Excelente!

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Interesting Notes from the Quiz!:

- I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a thousand times - 500 Days of Summer is an enjoyable movie.

- Literally everyone was surprised to hear Thailand was part of the Axis powers.

- Piccolo =/= penny whistle.

- “Sherm sticks” are not dipped in shit.

Awesome Team Name Shout-Outs!:

- Charles Manson Can Get Married and I Can’t

- You Can’t Drink All Day If You Don’t Start in the Morning

- I Have More Parents Than Friends

- Brontowhoreus

- Up Your Butt and Around the Corner

- 101 Days of Ebola Abstinence

———————————————

Follow me on Twitter! - @ahoff101

Like the music at the quiz? Check out the Spotify playlist! Geeks Who Drink - Raleigh Jamz

Natty Greene's Brewing Co.
505 West Jones Street
Raleigh, NC 27603
Tuesdays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
6:22 AM, November 12, 2014
Scores
Cunning Linguist 73

Big Aughties 72

LSD Christmas Party 70

Lasagna for One 69

Red Team 68

Cybernetic Optimized Operational Knights of Science (C.O.O.K.S.) 62

But I Loathe Bananas! 60

Milk in a Wine Glass 59

Moldy Lotion 59

Net Neutrality is Not Obamacare! 58

Multiple Scoregasms 56

Arc Flashers 55

Swedish Monkey Porn 55

Catryn's First 51

Jesse's Gurlz 47

Raise Hell, Praise Dale 37

You're Not My Supervisor 37

Table 4 18

Hoffstradamus


Twitter
Web

Quiz Schedule
Tuesdays at Natty Greene's - 7:30PM-9:30PM (Raleigh, NC)
Alex Hofford (Hoffstradamus)

Hola! My name is Alex and I am the Quizmaster at Natty Greene's in Raleigh. I also perform comedy in the Triangle at DSI Comedy and with the improv group BONE CRACKER.

Ointment is a weird word.

Computers are going to become self-aware and ruin us all at some point. It’s true! This isn’t some knee-jerk reaction to seeing Terminator 2: Judgment Day for the first time; we continuously advance our technologies day after day, and it’s only a matter of time that we create something that leaves humanity ruing its decisions. You know, kind of like how Hollywood already regrets making that Johnny Depp movie, Transcendence.

I fully realized this looming threat of ours while I was in a training seminar at work this week. In the course, each of us had to take a DISC behavior assessment test. Basically, the test presents you with a series of grouped personality traits, and you have to rank them as they apply to you. 

What I did not expect was how much my results would scare the shit out of me. It was like this program/algorithm/whatchamacallit read my damn diary when I was sleeping. Personal strengths and weaknesses were shown that I couldn’t deny (“Alex has a sense of humor he uses to make people feel comfortable,” “He often tries to find time for artistic output,” etc.), and I’m pretty sure the test could have told me what I had for breakfast if I answered one or two more questions.

Meanwhile, ALL of this information is being stored on some server somewhere, meaning as soon as one of these computer mainframes in Washington (let’s face it, it’ll totally be the government’s fault when shit does hit the fan) turns all HAL 9000 on us, it’s got the highly-accurate personality rundown of millions of people. Who’s to say that it won’t decide to eliminate some or all of one personality group?

*shivers* In the words of Motion City Soundtrack, the future freaks me out.

——————————

Tonight we had yet another instance of one point separating our top two teams, and it came down to the wire. In the end, Big Aughties (one-man team) finished second to Cunning Linguist’s 73-point winning total. LSD Christmas Party and Lasagna for One were hot on their heels, though, and I have a feeling they’ll be grabbing a top spot very soon…

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Interesting Notes from the Quiz!:

- Princess Diana and Dale Earnhardt did not die in the same car crash.

- Unfortunately for us, Judge Dredd was never a candidate for the Supreme Court. But he is the law, so I’m sure he’ll be OK with that.

- You wankers really love your British slang. Biscuit lift, guv’nuh!

- Sure, “From Under the Cork Tree” was Fall Out Boy’s “breakthrough” album, but I think we can all agree “Take This To Your Grave” is a classic in its own right.

Awesome Team Name Shout-Outs!:

- Cybernetic Optimized Operational Knights of Science (C.O.O.K.S.)

- Moldy Lotion

- Swedish Monkey Porn

- Net Neutrality is Not Obamacare!

- But I Loathe Bananas!

——————————

Follow me on Twitter! - @ahoff101

Like the music at the quiz? Check out the Spotify playlist! Geeks Who Drink - Raleigh Jamz

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