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British Bulldog
2052 Stout St.
Denver, CO 80205
Mondays: 8:00 PM
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10:01 PM, March 30, 2015
Scores
These Shoes Were Made For Walking Into 4th Place 75

Khan!!!! (Shake Fist) 68

Boobs On A Calculator 65

We're a 'Shoe'-In 64

The Velvet Merkins 62

The Armandos 31

Assmen 13

Bela Lugosi's Dad


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Quiz Schedule
MONDAY. BRITISH BULLDOG. 8 P.M. TUESDAY. WORLD OF BEER CHERRY CREEK. 7 P.M.
Jason Wardell (Bela Lugosi's Dad)

I am a bipedal male who has lived 29 Earth years, give or take. I have enjoyed a variety of interests, including: watching television, preparing food and drink items for consumption, carpentry. I am not a big fan of baseball. Sorry, baseball.

Cliff Clavin would be the final boss, I think.

So how about that for a quiz! I basiclly lost track of time due to the super-heroics exerted by Joe The Trainee. Seriously, between the Round 3 standings and the Round 8 answers, I was superfluous. Sure, I scored a couple answer sheets and wandered awkwardly near the QM station, but other than that, I had zilch to input during the latter half of the quiz. He'll be at Historians starting next week; if you choose to go there instead, I will totally understand.

That said, please come back to the British Bulldog next week! It was looking to be one of our more cozy quizzes until six teams of regulars showed up at the last fifteen minutes. And that turned out to be just the turn-out we needed for a handful of little competitions. Shoes v. Shoes! Boobs v. Merkins! All the title fights you never realized you needed or wanted.

THIRD PLACE tonight went to: Boobs on a Calculator. Formerly known as 58008. OH WAIT I GET IT NOW! Second place: KHAN!!! (Shake Fist)! I wouldn't put it past them to be working on an 8-bit Firefly game of their own. AND SO FIRST PLACE: These Shoes Were Made For Walking Into Fourth Place, who came up with that name before hearing R2. And how did they cheekily know they wouldn't be in fourth place?! Precogs? 

Honestly, this blog feels pretty done. Joe handled stuff so well, I wouldn't be surprised if he could pull a Robyn appearance for his first night solo hosting at his new venue. Seriously. I felt like that dude's little brother all night, in terms of beard, height and QM prowess. Is that weird? That's not that weird. 

British Bulldog
2052 Stout St.
Denver, CO 80205
Mondays: 8:00 PM
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11:24 PM, March 23, 2015
Scores
The Piccadilly Twitz 88

Hobo Knife Fight 78

Spock & Load 76

Cruz For President! 75

Khan! Shake Fist! 74

Changing Right Answers To Wrong Answers 71

In Last Place, With 4 Points 67

The Bearded Ladies 55

Mentok & The Mind takers 50

Team USA! 50

Brar 44

Shay & Mase 42

EJ 38

Jerk & Squirt 38

Bela Lugosi's Dad


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Quiz Schedule
MONDAY. BRITISH BULLDOG. 8 P.M. TUESDAY. WORLD OF BEER CHERRY CREEK. 7 P.M.
Jason Wardell (Bela Lugosi's Dad)

I am a bipedal male who has lived 29 Earth years, give or take. I have enjoyed a variety of interests, including: watching television, preparing food and drink items for consumption, carpentry. I am not a big fan of baseball. Sorry, baseball.

Holy Monday, everybody! That was one of the bigger quizzes in recent memory at the British Bulldog, and all, but hey shut up for a second, I have some news that may be already known (I haven’t checked the transcripts) and may be completely irrelevant. I’m getting married in June. YEAH, I KNOW. And while the impendingness of it all is kind of dawning on me, it’s been pretty low-stress so far. But! We had a team tonight from Hungary (one of several eastern European countries in which we’ll be honeymooning) and that made me jump to Ljubljana, wherein I done proposed that marriage idea in the first place! 

FIRST OF ALL, nobody tells you that there might be other people around when you’re looking to suggest joining families. That shit is obnoxious. Here we are, in this beautiful Dragon Castle, surveying all the lands and whatnot, and my proposal is going to get snapped up in some Euro-tween’s Instagram castle tower selfie? Hell no. We’re pausing everything and putting that ring back in the Allegra bottle in my backpack.

Have I told you this story before? Stop me if I’ve told you this story before. Again, I haven’t gone back into the microfiche or anything. This could be well-documented by now.

So anyway, first proposal attempt thwarted by Euro-Bieber and Family, we resumed our tour of the crazy castle, what with the dragon (historically slain by Jason of all that Argonauts fame, no less), and again, I was hoodwinked by the fact that HOLY SHIT people actually work in this tourist destination. Yeah, this castle doesn’t just exist for me and my twisted romantic life goals: there are people who have to take care of the grounds, and they have to take lunch breaks sometimes.

Welp. Not crashing a Slovenian lunch party, let’s move on.

And then we came to the Place With All The Pigeons And A Cool Archway I Guess. Yes. This is what I have been dreaming. No, really. I’ve just been palpitating for the past twenty-five minutes. NO BIG DEAL. Let’s just formally acknowledge this thing where I think you’re cool and you think I’m—wait, what was that? “Stop. Get up. Don’t do that.” 

SECOND OF ALL, nobody tells you that there’s a right way to hold a ring out when you’re proposing marriage. Turns out, it’s fancy side-up, delicately pinched betwixt thumb and forefinger. Turns out, it’s not clumsily in the palm of your hand, and maybe turned in such a way that may suggest it’s just some dirty keyring you found in the dirt. If that is the case, you should indeed stop. You should get up. You should don’t do that.

After 45 seconds or so of “Uh. Hey. No. Really. I. I mean. Come on. Don’t you. Would you. Uh.” the truth was, itself, set free. We drank a bunch of sparkling Slovenian wine and—oh holy shit—our wedding is coming up in like two months.

Sorry for that reverie and all, but GODDAMN. That is basically tomorrow. So I guess what I’m trying to say is: if anyone has any advice and/or money they want to give us, we are way in over our heads right now. We got engaged drunk in a castle, and it’s been smooth sailing ever since.

Thanks for reading that everyone; let’s cruise over to your final scores. THIRD PLACE went to Spock & Load, back with a vengeance and potentially some other Die Hard sequels. SECOND PLACE went to Hobo Knife Fight, who really cleaned up outside of the Bulldog, if you know what I mean. AND SO THAT MEANS THAT first place WENT TO The Piccadilly Twitz. Ooh. Aah. Gasp. Et cetera.

NEXT WEEK, I’ll probably be waxing idiotic about some other wedding stuff. Or maybe my job. Or maybe Robyn. You never know! Tune in again and we’ll figure this stream of consciousness thing out once and for all. Promise. Kisses.

British Bulldog
2052 Stout St.
Denver, CO 80205
Mondays: 8:00 PM
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10:26 PM, March 16, 2015
Scores
The Piccadilly Twitz 86

We'll Get First, Only If We Feel Like It 73

Khaaaaannn!!! (Shake Fist) 72

I Came To Chew Bubblegum And Crush Pussy 72

Quiz On My Face and Tell Me You Love Me 64

Mugatu 62

The Periodic Table Dancers 59

Bela Lugosi's Dad


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Quiz Schedule
MONDAY. BRITISH BULLDOG. 8 P.M. TUESDAY. WORLD OF BEER CHERRY CREEK. 7 P.M.
Jason Wardell (Bela Lugosi's Dad)

I am a bipedal male who has lived 29 Earth years, give or take. I have enjoyed a variety of interests, including: watching television, preparing food and drink items for consumption, carpentry. I am not a big fan of baseball. Sorry, baseball.

My favorite thing of tonight wasn’t having a killer trainee. It wasn’t getting to play a bunch of Malcolm in the Middle clips. No, it was the revelation that there is a Val Kilmer cover of “After the Gold Rush,” and by golly, is it terrible. Stephanie brings up a good point, since training is continuing: this song is made all the more memorable by the fact that the only clip we could find is some kind of domestic violence YouTube PSA. In lieu of a proper blog, where I would normally whine about my sunburn, talk about the crazy fast food junk I ate for lunch, or bemoan some jerk bag who shouted answers, let us enjoy the comments section of Val Kilmer’s “After the Gold Rush.”

  • “After the gold rush? What’s the hurry? Its fawn home run chippah.” - chip chipperson
  • “Don’t care what anyone says, I love this version.” - jimmyolsenblues
  • “Jesus…” - rswindol
  • "I’d rather listen to my mom beg for mercy as she’s being murdered than to listen to this pile of dog shit again.” - christian almli
  • “This song is like diarrhea coming out of my dick!” - robotpanda77
  • “I’m gouging out my eardrums with an ice-pick… thanks, dude” - tele65
  • “we need a song that really transfers the pain of domestic abuse to the listener” - PaperStackersUnion
  • “Only here for the beaaauuuuutiful music…” - KilmerHeat24601

I think you get the point. As you can see, we have a masterpiece here. Hit up some YouTube if you have spare time and/or an intense hate-love for Val Kilmer and/or Neil Young. You will/won’t regret it.

Sooooooo your third place team tonight had to compete in a limerick tiebreaker!!!!!!!!!! The winner of that tie-break was Pussy Crushin' v. Bubble Gum (5-4). A landmark case. Next up, with second place, We'll Get First Only If We Feel Like It. You generous bunch! That means the first place team was The Piccadilly Twitz, for whom I've run out of quasi-witty things to say.

Next week, I expect you'll be following Trainee Stephanie to wherever she'll be training, BUT IF NOT, come back here and we'll offer some Robyn and booze and quiz and stuff. Personally, I'm most intrigued by the stuff!

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