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British Bulldog
2052 Stout St.
Denver, CO 80205
Mondays: 8:00 PM
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11:36 PM, October 27, 2014
Scores
The Piccadilly Twitz 86

The Under Dirty Pants 82

Bob Loblaw's Law Blog 80

The Wrath Of Khaaaaan! (Shake Fist) 80

Spock & Load 76

The Velvet Merkins 69

What Do Astronauts Eat 4 Dinner 67

The Periodic Table Dancers 64

I Gave Your Dad A Papercut 38

Bela Lugosi's Dad


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MONDAY. BRITISH BULLDOG. 8 P.M. TUESDAY. WORLD OF BEER CHERRY CREEK. 7 P.M.
Jason Wardell (Bela Lugosi's Dad)

I am a bipedal male who has lived 29 Earth years, give or take. I have enjoyed a variety of interests, including: watching television, preparing food and drink items for consumption, carpentry. I am not a big fan of baseball. Sorry, baseball.

In which we are visited by the Ghost Of Hallowe'en Past, Present and Future OR The One Who Smoked The Competition OR The Human Being I Referred To As A "Thing" OR Me In, Like, Twenty Years If I'm Lucky. Remember me fondly when I go down that path, friends. I'll be up in your face, getting most of the answers right but shouting them, and offering an off-putting and sun-parched hand texture. It was like giving a firm handshake to the very idea of papyrus.

Hallowe'ek is almost over, everyone. I'm very sorry that we won't have candy here in the next few weeks, but you should look forward to my weekly bowl of cranberry dressing for Thanksgiving. Then, around Christmas, you can expect individually packaged cups of egg nog, complete with a nutmeg-shaving station. I get pretty excited about holidays in Q4. Easter can suck an egg, but October through December can expect all of the gifts and prizes.

THAT SAID: I was disappointed with how Hallowe'eny this quiz wasn't. We had, what? A single round about Ebola? How boring. Also: how immediately pertinent and terrifying. We don't want that for the holiday. We want long-term terrors and/or obscure and esoteric threats! Tell me about hantavirus or something, writers!

Anyhow, tonight had a THIRD PLACE SHOWDOWN! Bob Loblaw's Law Blog made our hearts and tongues stutter, but they ultimately did not overcome the Wrath Of Khaaaaan!!!! (Shake Fist). Second Place went to The Under Dirty Pants, who misplaced one score sheet and had one score sheet misplaced by me. It evens out in the end. First place went to the Piccadilly Twitz, who want me to tell you that Crown Royal is the preferred whiskey of Good Quizzers. I'm not the kind of man who will argue with a hat. Not yet, at least.

So, wrapping up, what have we learned tonight? Everyone loves the Muppets. Half of everyone loves horror movie schlock. Robyn will be here next week. And all it takes to SMOKE the competition is showing up late, being pretty damn drunk, and standing in my personal zone while I'm trying to read questions. Smoke the competition, everyone!

British Bulldog
2052 Stout St.
Denver, CO 80205
Mondays: 8:00 PM
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10:50 PM, October 20, 2014
Scores
The Piccadilly Twitz 81

The Velvet Merkins 75

First Place (In Our Hearts) 68

Geeky Action At A Distance 66

Spontaneous Prosthesis 63

The Periodic Table Dancers 62

There Is No I In Idiot 47

Bela Lugosi's Dad


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Quiz Schedule
MONDAY. BRITISH BULLDOG. 8 P.M. TUESDAY. WORLD OF BEER CHERRY CREEK. 7 P.M.
Jason Wardell (Bela Lugosi's Dad)

I am a bipedal male who has lived 29 Earth years, give or take. I have enjoyed a variety of interests, including: watching television, preparing food and drink items for consumption, carpentry. I am not a big fan of baseball. Sorry, baseball.

OK, everyone. Quiz is over. We can finally get down to business. Let's talk about what's really on our collective minds right now. What the shit happened to Bottle Caps? Remember those things? Root Beer? Orange? They used to be the size of actual bottle caps and they used to be the best. Now they're roughly the size of a pencil eraser and I need to eat about fifty of them to get any semblance of nostalgic sugar high and that is just plain weak.

Speaking of Weak, this is week four where NOBODY wanted the William Shakespeare Air Freshener. Someone's going to have to take it sooner or later, folks. There's an inevitability about it. At some point, it's going to come down to This Thing vs. a Crusty Ketchup lid and you will have to do some serious soul searching.

So tonight, we learned a lot about THE PRESIDENT. How could such a simple audio copy/paste be so delightful? I know it drove most of you crazy, but THE PRESIDENT kind of made my night. It was super obnoxious, but that's the charm of it. It's like Real Housewives Of Who Cares or Pabst Blue Ribbon or Drops of Jupiter. The fact that it sucks is kind of like a bonus. It's endearingly awful, and I'm maybe a little too eager to make someone else deal with it.

THIRD PLACE this evening went to the aptly-paradoxically-named First Place (In Our Hearts). TOO MANY ORDINAL NUMBERS. SECOND PLACE went to the Velvet Merkins, the biggest fans of Drops of Jupiter I've ever met! And FIRST PLACE for real went to the Piccadilly Twitz, brought to you by Crown Royal. "A Little Too Canadian; A Little Too Twitz."

Next week, I'm going to have the g-d candy pumpkin because we only skimmed maybe two inches off of that sumbitch. Don't make me eat these bullshit Bottle Caps. Continuing our Hallowe'en theme, next week will be pretty Robyn-heavy, so prepare yourself accordingly. We'll see you then! How long do I have to wind the blog down? Two more sentences? Sounds good to me.

British Bulldog
2052 Stout St.
Denver, CO 80205
Mondays: 8:00 PM
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Comment Now
11:12 PM, October 13, 2014
Scores
The Piccadilly Twitz 84

Tis The Season For Spaghetti Squash 81

Khaaaaan! (Shake Fist) 79

The Velvet Merkins 73

The Dallas Cowboys Will Finish This Season As Well As I Finish This Quiz 57

Is That Tom Selleck? 57

Periodic Table Dancers 55

Blockheads 18

Bela Lugosi's Dad


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Quiz Schedule
MONDAY. BRITISH BULLDOG. 8 P.M. TUESDAY. WORLD OF BEER CHERRY CREEK. 7 P.M.
Jason Wardell (Bela Lugosi's Dad)

I am a bipedal male who has lived 29 Earth years, give or take. I have enjoyed a variety of interests, including: watching television, preparing food and drink items for consumption, carpentry. I am not a big fan of baseball. Sorry, baseball.

OK first of all, I'm sorry. I feel like I brought a shit attitude to everyone's face tonight because Colorado Public Radio is currently in their fundraising drive and I've gone a full week without NPR. Jesus. I get it. You're giving away a trip to London. WHAT; I COULD GO SEE STONEHENGE? NO FUCKING WAY.

Something about a pledge drive brings out the worst in me. Yes, your cause is noble. No, I don't want to hear about it every day for a full week. I tend to listen to NPR until All Things Considered repeats. I will not listen to more than 25 seconds of that pledge drive bullshit.

So tonight at the Bulldog was a crazy thing. Former British Bulldog Quizmaster (apocryphal? waiting on confirmation) and GODDAMN LOVELY Denver comedian Andrew Orvedahl is making an appearance on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. It's happening while I write this, and I'm raising a glass for the duration. We're hunt-and-peck typing right now, lest I splash some Newcastle on my beloved 2007 MacBook.

ANDY! Denver's proud of you, buddy, whether or not you hosted this nonsense a decade ago. I want to believe!

Tonight saw a few teams who won things! Third place went to KHAAAN! (Shake Fist) who I made menacing faces towards, all evening long. Second place went to Tis The Season For Spaghetti Squash, who I thought were actually a completely different team. THANKS, TEAM OF FRIENDS SITTING NEAR ME AND MAKING HAPPY FACES FOR NO GOOD REASON. And the first place was the Piccadilly Twitz. It's like they know what they're doing.

Next week probably won't have any Colorado comedians breaking out on national TV, but it WILL have an appearance by Robyn AND ALSO a lot of electioneering, probably. The pledge drive will be over, so let's be happy next week, everyone.

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